Thoughts I sometimes won’t let myself say.
Why does it have to be hard for me?
Why are there scores of idiots who get the same grade as me?
Scores of idiots who do their homework with no problem – and aren’t eternally bothered when they fail to do their homework?
Why do I have to be bothered so much by failure?
Why is it so much easier for other people to make friends?
Why do people who deserve the most get the least?
Why can other people just sit down and do shit? I don’t understand how Carolyn does it. Actually, she had the inverse problem. She was incapable of doing anything other than getting her shit done. I looked at perfectionism and collapsed. She took her perfectionism and ran with it, tried her best, and managed to feel like shit when she didn’t get an A.
Why am I in this school, anyway? Oh, right. Not wanting a shitty job. *twirls finger*
It’s a queue of shit waiting for me, things I really am not in the mood to do right now. Finish one, OH, YOU’RE NOT DONE. YOU’RE NEVER DONE. No wonder I tended to not start.
How come I can never see what it is that makes me happy? How come when I try seeking out those things, they end up making me feel worse?
Will this ever freaking end? I’m about to roll over.
Why can something that motivates me never last? I keep having to find creative ways to bring myself back every goddamn week. It’s not fair.
It’s not freaking fair, dude.
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No, it’s not fair. Just try to keep in mind– everyone has quiet moments where they get sad/mad/angry etc. If you were Carolyn, or had her issues, you’d probably envy Tim. This is going to get easier for you. I know you’re having trouble believing that today. But it is. Go for a walk. Get away from everything. Get outside, and just breathe. Tomorrow is a new day.
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ryn: he wasn’t making the same point. i’m saying atheism doesn’t involve proof of any kind. he was saying believing in god is similar to believing in five-sided squares. i don’t care what you liken atheism to, it still can’t be proved or disproved.
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scores of idiots? that’s not very nice. especially if they’re the ones who can do their homework with no problem. be a trucker, timmy. or a porn star. then you’d have fun, money AND no homework. and if you become a trucker, i promise to burn you some good cds for the drive :o)
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Why this need to go to school? Some people aren’t meant to do it … maybe you’re one of those … some people just do it at a later time in their lives …
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Exactly why I’m not, and probably never will be, in collage.
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GRAAAWR! *swipes a paw* Be a mountain lion! None of this! GRAWWWWWWWWWWR!
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A few weeks into the term, everyone gets the urge to quit.
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Oh, way to go, you’ve just given evolutioninmyeyes justification for not educating herself.
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*sigh* I relate way too much to this entry.
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School sucks.
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OH. And PS: Regarding the whole college thing? BELIEVE me, once you move out on your own and have to support yourself financially, you will see the merit of college. Those crappy 8 dollar an hour jobs don’t afford for a happy, relaxed lifestyle- period. Trust me on this one. Use this opportunity, and milk it for all it’s worth. Poverty, generally speaking, is not fun.
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I think shit like that all the time.
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You’ll make it. I’m not saying that in a way that belittles your despair. I’m just saying those of us that read you, constantly, must be going through these things too yeah? I don’t have the answers, but would you readily accept them if I did anyway? You’ll make it, but I don’t know in which way, or how. And since I’m catching up (I usually read you in chunks)…I already know you did…
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…even if it wasn’t in the way you liked. *hugs*
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