They’ll never know the secrets I hold.

My manager Mike was telling me how he used to have hair three different colors, a braided goatee, and *gasp* pierced ears. And he wondered why he didn’t get those “high-paying” jobs. *laughs* Eventually he said “Fuck it” and cleaned himself up. Not long after, he was made manager of the Taco Bell across the street. Funny, I never saw him there.

There’s a sly way about him. Just the way he looks at people and addresses people. It’s as if the “I’m the manager” thing is just a show. As if he’s internally laughing. The system will never know the internal chaos that rolls in his mind. Well, maybe not chaos. But who he is. We base so much on exterior appearances. He’s still the same person he was.

He just amuses me. He’s very much in tune with my desire to not waste money on college if I don’t know where I’m going with it. As he said in a conversation shortly after I started working there, “You’ll be doing something else in ten years.” It’s foolhardy to expect yourself to stay in one field for the rest of your life. If not the same field, you will NOT have the same job. That’s for sure.

I’m not stupid enough to post stuff about my GM in a public entry. : D

In a completely unrelated note, Melissa has taken to hooking her finger around mine. I mean. If I pass by her, our arms will glide, and our finger will hook at the end, lingering for just a second.

And to think she has a boyfriend. But that never stopped me in the past. ..Okay, maybe it has. Whatever, I work with her, I don’t really intend to date her. Not at this juncture, at least. We’ll see where this goes. Having an indefinite flirting relationship can be very fun, indeed.

Reminds me of how Cliff describes his relationship with this girl Erin. They are perpetually at that point just before you actually articulate something. They’ll look each other in the eyes, “..Oh, it’s you.” “..Oh, it’s.. you.” Thing is, if they ever moved past that phase, it just wouldn’t be the same. It’s.. perfect like that. A relationship perfectly stuck in neutral.

I tried explaining Fight Club today to Susan, which lead me to trying to explain the psychosis of disliking yourself and projecting yourself as “somebody” else. Of “pretending” you’re somebody else. Naturally, it’s hard for people who can’t relate to get it. As I said to her, it was explained to me by friends, and I simply couldn’t believe it. “That’s me? No way.”

In time, I’m sure I’ll learn how to better communicate this psychosis in ways common people can understand. If I could do that. Oh, if I could do that, I could help so many people. I could write a book. ..Or a pamplet. Or an ENTRY. omg.

*sips raspberry iced tea*

Jenny didn’t think it would be my type of movie due to the “violence”. As I say repeatedly, the movie has nothing to do with violence.

The first rule of project mayhem is you do not ask questions.

Damn that strawberry daqueri was good. Wendi told me to try a Jolly Rancher, someday. I need to ask Susan what’s in that, next time I see her. I remember her saying once that she was once a bartender; she said it’s still a bitch trying to keep up with customers no matter where you work.

I think I’m good for tonight. I’m almost ready to post an entry critiquing all the food. And I know I posted an entry requesting inspiration. I’ll make my way through that entry one of these days. I posted that RIGHT before I built Roxanne, remember.

Reminds me, there’s a new girl whose name is Roxanne. She has blazing blue eyes. ..Well she does, I rarely notice eyes.

I’ll uh, go away now. Maybe finish the movie. Definitely jerk off before going to bed. You know, fondle my hairless balls. I have a BIG DAY tomorrow. My favorite shift. (The 7 – 3.)