The way a weekend should be.

I’ve been at Cliff’s for a few days. Funny how that happens. After work on Saturday, I came home, showered, and immediately set out to Cliff`em all.

I was driving down 206 when I saw Erik going the other way. I realized, “Hmm, if Erik is going that way, that means he’s already been to Cliff’s.” I decided there was only two placed he could be going next. Dan’s or Chili’s. I was right on both accounts. I slowed down and immediately took the next left (onto Hillary). I made my way to Dan’s, and Erik’s car was parked there. Erik and Ashley were there, as well as Dan and Liz. Turns out it was Bobby’s birthday (Cliff’s minimally exceptional brother) so they went to Chili’s. Erik, Ashley and I ventured there later, but not after I said something incredibly stupid.

Well, not stupid. The statement was true. It was just a combination of bad timing and um. Well, I said to Liz, “Remember, Dan was our bitch first, and he’ll be our bitch long after you’re gone.” Which is true. Girlfriends come and go. I feel a high loyalty to these guys, and I’ve been around them along enough to SEE girls come and go.

Unfortunately, Liz was feeling a little alienated from us. Combined with Dan’s tendency to say the wrong thing consistently, he spent the rest of Saturday night and yesterday trying to get her to calm down. Something like that.

I did apologize to her. I’m not stupid. But after our party split and I had more time to think, I realized just how much I probably offended and hurt her. I decided to give her a second apology next time I see her. I don’t think I’ve ever given anybody a second apology. It’s rare enough that I give first ones. I remember writing about how I refused to apologize to Paige on many occasions because I didn’t feel I had done anything wrong. *laughs*

The three of us went to Chili’s to meet up with Cliff. Found his table. Said hi, said happy birthday to his little brother. He may be 13 now, but he has the IQ of maybe a 7 year old. Maybe 8. Not sure. The way he plays video games, you’d think he was younger. He’s a one-button masher. He has a negative bonus in intelligence. He gets bored constantly, and if we don’t do what he wants, it’s somehow our fault for not appeasing him.

I used to wonder why Cliff was so mean to him. But now I don’t question it anymore. I’ve been around that kid long enough where he annoys the shit out of me, too. Where you don’t need a reason to tell him to shut up. It’s always the case where if we’re playing a video game, he’ll come out of the woodwork and demand he be involved. Then as soon as we leave, he’ll lose interest. It’s kind of sad to watch somebody play a video game and genuinely have no idea what’s going on, beyond mashing buttons.

Erm, sorry, anger.

We noticed Chili’s was very packed, so I suggested El Coyote. Ashley had never been there, so Erik seconded it, and we (meaning he) drove there. We determined the fried alligator is some sort of cross between mozzerella sticks, fish sticks, and chicken. Somehow, someway. And it tastes good.

Somewhere along the line, I started having a conversation with Ashley. I tend to have a lot of comedic back and forths with my friends, but that was an actual conversation. I just noticed we were talking and Erik wasn’t really involved. *smirks* Reflecting on Liz, Ashley said she was a bit taken aback by me when she first met me. But then she “got” me. The first time Liz saw me, I was slightly buzzed and saying lots of stupid shit. Second time, I was sober and saying lots of stupid shit. *laughs*

Lately, my phrase has been, “And I used to be such a nice guy.” You know, from Fight Club. Erik concurred, saying I used to be the nicest of all of us. It’s not necessarily that I’m not nice anymore. It’s just I’ll open my mouth far more than I used to. Where I used to be afraid to say anything at all, I’ll now shoot my mouth off without much hesitation. It’ll get me into trouble, like it has, but it’s better than the way I used to be, living in fear of saying anything at all.

I was reminded of how I used to handle things like this. I’d find a philosophical doctrine which is opposed to actions similar to what I did, then attempt to adopt to. Then scold myself when I fail miserably. *laughs* Nor is it re-thinking things before we say them. I think it’s as simple as letting myself make these mistakes enough times until I simply. Well. Stop doing it.

Think about it. If there’s anything we shouldn’t say, we don’t have to think twice before saying it. We just think it and simultaneously know “No.” I do it all the time at work. I’m well aware that there are certain things I really don’t want to say to people, or give away. So I don’t talk about it.

I guess I’m just annoyed that Cliff claims I have no social graces. I know the two-finger point. *laughs* If you’re pointing at something, don’t use one finger. Use two. *laughs* I jest. If not being afraid to open my mouth, and actually offending people or upsetting people in the matter is a lack of social graces, so be it. I spent most of my life trying not to offend people, trying to be the nice guy. Fuck that. I will not repress what I say no more than I will repress my emotions. With the confidence to say without regret comes the ability to express myself in positive manners more easily.

After all, I wanted to say “Shut up, you bitch” a million times to Cliff’s mom this weekend, but I bit my tongue and instead said more tactical things like, “You realize this has nothing to do with you.” See, she was demanding Cliff not break up with Jess. She was acting stupider than it sounds. Believe me.

The war on neutrality. *laughs* (It’s a Futurama reference. “Tell my wife I said.. ‘Hello’.”)

Ah, there I go again with the anger. And I used to be such a nice guy. I’ll grow with time, and I’ll be even more hardcore than I am now. Modesty is for people with no confidence, I say.

I also refuse to comb my hair. But I digress.

El Coyote was fun, then we went back to Cliff’s. (Somewhere in there, Cliff’s mom was a bitch. *nods*) Erik and Cliff were playing something on Xbox; for whatever reason Ashley and I continued having verbal intercourse.

Oh, reminds me. She got whiney with Erik later because they don’t have LONG DEEP CONVERSATIONS. Oh god. Something you have to understand is that he’s a man of few words. Whereas Cliff and I can rant on at length for hours, Erik will say what he has to say in a few brief words and be done with it. (Nevermind how I COULD summarize if I wanted to, but much prefer articulating how I reached my thoughts in the first place. And so on and so forth.) I used to feel a little distant from him because we wouldn’t say much to each other. But I’ve come to understand that’s simply who he is and what he does. I like Erik like that. And, of course, she denied it was related to her having a decent conversation with me. Sure, whatever. *smirks*

Succulent chest juices.

Something about Erik having a harem of women. Meaning Ashley would have more than one set of boobs to play with. Something about somebody getting breast implants. Something about Ashley getting implants just below natural boobs, giving her a second pair. Something about a unaboob and succulent chest juices. It’s amazing the shit Cliff can pull out of his ass simply by stringing words together.

Erik rented this game “Kingdom Under Fire”. Which is awesome. I played through Gerald’s campaign last Friday (causing me to only get three hours of sleep before work on Saturday. Har har.) The game.. Is a really fun game to watch, in addition to play.

Bobby enjoys this Godzilla game, which is better than the Gamecube version, sadly. This would be the game Bobby is a one-button-masher in. Nevermind how he’s not all that varied in any other games.

Of course, Bobby’s stupid, so Cliff’s parents come to his defence while putting Cliff down. So they claim at his age, I would be as good as him. …No, I could probably have handed Bobby’s ass to him when I was 8. I was a good little whippersnapper. Nobody can beat me at Dr. Mario. Nobody.

Ashley likes being around us because we don’t have Vaginas. (Is it obvious I added this after-the-fact because I realized I forgot to mention so? Hmm, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.) Jess is probably the same way, but she isn’t so “I haven’t had decent male friends since I was little.” It’s cute. I should also mention that there’s some animosity between Ashley and Jess. I don’t really quite understand it; it’s female bullshit.

We dumped off Ashley way after the time Erik’s nuts were to be detached. Her parents once said something about cutting them off and displaying them in a jar? Yet I can only think about stapling his nuts to his forehead. *shrugs*

Jess was around yesterday, then left. Sometime yesterday we went to Dunkin Donuts. Somewhere in there Bobby was around us constantly because he has no life. He wants attention, and if nobody’s paying attention to him, he gets angry. He will involve himself in things that have absolutely nothing to do with him. Kind of like his mom. Har har.

Damn you Poptart, you have me saying that now. I mean, out loud. HAR HAR. Can you hear me now?

Dan was around last night and fell asleep on the small couch upstairs while Erik was making his way through Kendal’s campaign on Kingdom Under Fire. …Unfortunately, the game froze towards the end of an annoying mission. At which point we decided to retire for the evening. Dan was all cozy and snuggly, so we both went to the downstairs couch. I offered to spoon with him, as there was no room for a head-to-foot arrangement, but he autonomously created a bed using two plastic tubs which dug into his ass over the night.

Still, I will claim I slept with Erik. *nods*

Dan said he wants to hang out tomorrow. I’m supposed to work 7 – 2 tomorrow, but we’ll see whether there’s enough coverage until 4. I’m betting Jenny is working until four. Becky typically has the mid-day shift. And Melissa is the Via Wench. It’ll be nice to see her.

But yeah, Dan wants to be social. I like being social. But now it’s TimmyTime. My (not-so) brand-new hoodie is in the washing machine, as it was fur-ized by all of Cliff’s pussies. I should spend time in my room by myself with the lights off playing video games and masturbating furiously. *nods decisively* …Not at the same time, of course. And maybe take a shower. I love having smooth balls.