The Search For BIGGAYDAN’s Foreskin, Part II

The Doctor pressed button on the wall behind them, and then walked in front of the couple, waves his arms dramatically. “All will be clear, my son.”

“You’re not my dad.”

“You’re right, I’m not. I’m sterile.”

BIGGAYDAN and his INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND exchanged glances. They noticed they could hear some sort of sound. Almost like marching, but faster. In unison, naked men filed in from both sides. He quickly realized they looked exactly like him. when they finished filling the room, he couldn’t tell just how many look-alikes there were. Towards the center, there was a small group that looked his age, if only a year younger. As he scanned towards the edges, the ages dropped and the amount of lookalikes got greater.

The Doctor smiled. “BIGGAYDAN. Meet your BIGGAYCLONEBROTHERS.”

“Oh. Um. Okay. Just how did you do this and what’s the point of having so many of me? You must rack up quite a food bill, I eat a lot.”

“Oh, BIGGAYDAN, isn’t it obvious? I am the mastermind of the BIGGAYCONSPIRACY.”

“Excuse me? And would you stop assuming I’m gay?”

“You are, too, gay, BIGGAYDAN. I thought you’d be an expert on the BIGGAYCONSPIRACY. You know that irrational fear heteros have that we’ll convert their young into being BIGGAYMEN? It’s all true, my son. And I intend to make that fear a reality. We were really making headway with the Gay Scouts until – god damn it – they caught on. But, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Thanks to the unconsented donation of your foreskin, I’ve been able to create this BIGGAYARMY. Naturally, they’re all circumcised, as I don’t trust any males to keep themselves clean. With every foreskin harvested, more BIGGAYDANs can be created. This is the cavalry that will lead us to victory in the War Against Heterosexuality!”

The Doctor laughed. “Boys, tell the Original who you all are.”

In unison, an ominous voice spoke, “We are BIGGAYDAN.”

The Doctor sarcastically sniffles. “Such wonderful BIGGAYCLONES. But, still drones. They need the guidance of the Original to show them how to truely be Big and Gay and oh so Dannish.”

BIGGAYDAN couldn’t help but smirk. “Um. No?”

“You will lead them, BIGGAYDAN, because it is your destiny. Together, we will create world full of GIANTMANCOCK on GIANTMANCOCK action.”

BIGGAYDAN’s INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND coughed. “Excuse me. You can have all the dick on dick action in the world you want, you still won’t get very far without some Vagina around. Besides, you owe BIGGAYDAN a check for using his foreskin to create a clone army – without his consent, I might add.”

The Doctor’s eyes flared. “You little bitch, how dare you insult my master plan! You must be female, after all, it’s the only way. You and your Vagina must have corrupted BIGGAYDAN, that’s why he’s resisting his intrinsically gay impulses!”

He moved towards her and raised his hand, as if to slap her. Reacting fast, BIGGAYDAN grabbed his arm and quietly kneed him in the testicles. He bent over slightly, gasping. Then he smiled and raised his head.

“I said I was sterile. I have no testicles.”

The Doctor lunged for BIGGAYDAN’s throat and toppled him over. Despite BIGGAYDAN’S athleticism, he found himself pinned with a very BIGGAYMAN on top of him. “Is this turning you on, BIGGAYDAN?”

“Only because you keep massaging my dick.”

“You must submit to your gay urges. JOIN ME.”

“NEVER!! I WANT PERFECTLYROUNDBOOBIES IN MY MOUTH!!!” In a spurt of energy, he threw the Doctor off of him. Standing, he retrieved the DOUBLEDONGOFJUSTICE from his ass. He waved it assertively at the now cowering Doctor.

His INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND shook her head. “I never understood how he does that trick.”

Sensing a changing of the tide, the Doctor pointed at BIGGAYDAN and screamed, “ATTACK!!” A mass of BIGGAYCLONES moved forward towards the Original. BIGGAYDAN took a step backward, but tripped on himself. In a matter of seconds, he would be in their grasp.

Is this the end of of BIGGAYDAN?

Can he and his INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND escape?

Will BIGGAYDAN be captured and forced to have incestous HOTGAYSEX with his BIGGAYCLONEBROTHERS?

Will the Doctor ever respect the Authority of the Vagina?

Will BIGGAYDAN’s INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND stop menstuating in time for him to orally pleasure her punani?

Has the DOUBLEDONGOFJUSTICE finally failed to save BIGGAYDAN?

Will this dramatic narrated freeze-frame ever end?

“This is the part where Timmy does something random to save us, since there’s no way we can win this without a miracle. Or, who knows, maybe he’ll be anticlimatic and have us lose, I wouldn’t put it past him.”

“GET DOWN.”

Arnold appears behind the fallen BIGGAYDAN. (His INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND said “Fuck it” and made a break for it.)

“ARNOLD WILL SAVE YOU.”

BIGGAYDAN takes the advice, stays down, and covers his head. Arnold fires a machine gun across the room of BIGGAYCLONES, pumping round after round into all their foreskin-engineered bodies. After the loud banging of automate gunfire and bodies slamming dead into the floor, the room remained covered in blood from floor to ceiling.

“ARNOLD HAS SAVED YOU. YOU VILL VOTE VOR ME VOR PRESIDATOR.”

Noticing the still fallen Doctor, Arnold moved towards him. He started to get up to run, but Arnold grabbed him by his shirt.

“I MUST BREAK YOU.”

Grabbing the doctor’s neck, he nonchalantly snapped it. His slain body fell to the floor. Arnold looked over BIGGAYDAN, still on the ground and clutching the DOUBLEDONGOFJUSTICE.

“COME, BIGGAYDAN, IT TIS TIME VOR YOU TO GET SOME PUNANI.”

“…Please tell me you don’t mean from you.”

“YOU VUCKING PERVERT, I WAS REVERING TO YOUR INSANELYHOTGIRLVRIEND.”

“OH. Of course.”

*****

(The next day.)

“Did you really have to run out on me?”

“Hey, I was menstruating, I’ve got bigger problems to worry about.”

BIGGAYDAN paused.

“Aren’t you on day 8? Shouldn’t you be done by now?”

She smiled and laughed. “Actually, I finished about three days ago. I just figured you’d never call my bluff. You’re such a jew, BIGGAYDAN.”