The Saturday Dip.

(As posted in Prepuce.)

It’s been a good week. Five days straight I was upbeat, mobile, productive, and otherwise feeling good about myself. I decided to give myself Saturday off, as I figured I’d find it hard to study today.

That has turned out to be a miscalculation. I woke up at 8 AM. Which was good. But. …Then what? As the hours passes, my mood slowly fell to an even plateau. It’s so utterly simple. With nothing “coming soon!”, I felt bored very fast. But what to do? I remember making an offhand thought that maybe I’d clean my room. Saturday here, I have absolutely no desire to do that. I thought I deserved today off, as I’ve been doing good.

But. But. It didn’t work! I don’t want to clean my room. And I don’t know what I want to do to “goof off”. I feels like a waste of a day. Thought giving myself a break from structure would be a good thing. I didn’t anticipate needing “something to do”. Just about the only thing I’m sure of tonight is that I’ll get nakie around 11 PM, and then sleep sometime shortly after midnight.

Maybe it’s the rain. Maybe. My inner thighs are starting to throbe like nobody’s business, but that’s actually improved my mood. Kind of like a distraction in one area makes you forget what was bothering you in another area. I’d swear I was going easy in my inner thighs. Apparently not easy enough. Just like last year. Near-constant spasms and a dull ache. BLARGO! Oh well.

I cock my head at what to do with myself, more or less as I did six hours ago. I tried playing Sims, but it felt empty. No movies really appeal to me. I don’t really want to be social. I can’t figure out whether it’s because I’m not feeling wanted, or whether I really just don’t want to be around them. It feels like a day for snuggling with someone special.

No real emotional masochism to report. Sort of given up on today? I figure tomorrow will be better, as I’ll hit the Y early tomorrow. Strange. I .. look forward to it. A week ago, I would have laughed at such a notion. Eh. I just want to go back to bed, today just didn’t work out.