The Peeing Survey.

I can’t believe I didn’t write this myself.

1. I have peed standing up.

2. I have peed sitting down.

3. I have peed crouching.

4. I have peed in a bottle.

5. I have peed in a plastic milk jug.

6. I have peed on the toilet seat. Hey, when you’re five years old, it happens.

7. I have peed on a tree.

8. I have peed on a rock.

9. I have peed in the bushes.

10. I have peed on a stop sign.

11. I have peed on a fire hydrant.

12. I have peed off a porch.

13. I have peed on someone else!

14. I have peed in the pool.

15. I have peed in the shower.

16. I have peed in a porta-potty.

17. I have peed in a urinal. Kind of happens once in a lifetime when you’re male.

18. I have peed on a cop car.

19. I have been drunk and had to pee really bad. Not that drunk, and not that bad, but I definitely had to pee.

20. I have peed on a wall.

21. I have peed on myself.

22. I have peed in my pants.

23. I have tasted pee.

24. I have run scientific tests on pee.

25. I have peed in a bus station bathroom.

26. I have peed in a lavatory on a train.

27. I have peed in a lavatory on a plane.

28. I have peed in a lavatory on a bus.

29. I have peed in a lavatory on a boat.

30. I have peed in a cup.

31. I have peed in a soda pop can.

32. I have peed on an electric fence.

33. I have peed outside in the middle of winter. It’s the best time of year to whip it out.

34. I have paid money in a foreign country in order to pee.

35. I have peed in the ocean.

36. I have stepped in pee.

37. I have sneezed while peeing.

38. I have woken up in the middle of the night because I had to pee.

39. If I had the chance, I would pee on the president.

40. I have peed through a tube.

41. I have a fear of public restrooms. Well, I used to. That whole pee-shy or poo-shy thing. Three years in a dorm will change that.

42. I won’t pee in a urinal.

43. I have left the toilet seat up after I have peed. Yeah, so? How dare you leave the seat down, insolent females!

44. I have peed in a plastic bag.

45. I have peed in a bucket.

46. I have peed in five or more states in one day. Oh god, never again.

47. I have peed in a shoe.

48. Someone has peed on my stuff!

49. I have completely missed the toilet while peeing.

50. I have had to clean up from someone else’s pee!

51. I have something with pee stains on it.

52. I have peed on flowers. I just have this feeling that its happened.

53. I have been caught peeing outside in public.

54. I have to pee right now.

55. I have an overactive bladder.

56. I have potty-trained pets.

57. I just went pee.

58. I like to go peeing in groups with friends.

59. I publicly announce when I have to go pee. Who doesn’t?

60. I have peed off a bridge.

61. I have peed in a hole I dug in the ground.

62. I have asked permission to go pee.

63. I have peed upside down.

64. I hate people who don’t flush the toilet. I always know when my sister’s menstruating.

65. I have taken a picture of someone peeing.

66. I have eaten yellow snow.

67. I have peed in a disgusting restaurant bathroom.

68. Waterfalls and fountains give me the urge to pee.

69. I typically pee sitting down.

70. I have had a disease that gave me problems peeing.

71. I turn the water on when I pee in a guest’s bathroom so they don’t hear me peeing.

72. I have peed in a river.

73. I have peed in a lake.

74. I have peed out the window.

75. I have peed in a fish tank.

76. I have peed in a gas station bathroom.

77. I have peed in a sink. It saves water!

78. I have peed in a basin.

79. I have waited in an unbelievably long line to pee. Ha ha, sucks to be female!

80. I have missed something important because I had to pee.

81. I have waited for someone else to pee.