The BIGGAYDAN Halloween Special, Part II

They moved to the next house….

“TRICK OR TREAT!”

The door didn’t open immediately. Out of nowhere, bats appeared and swarmed around the BIGGAYBUDDIES. Naturally, they were scared out of their wits and screamed high-pitched girly screams. A hidden vat of (fake) blood was dumped down on them, soaking all of their clothing.

The door openned to reveal a man wearing a George W. Bush mask.

“Happy Bitchen Halloween, dudes!”

“What the fuck, man?”

“Oh, hey BIGGAYDAN. You’re bigger, gayer, and Danner than I thought you’d bitchen be. How do you like my bitchen porch scares? They’re not much, but I made some little kid piss his bitchen pants!”

“…You got all my candy wet!”

“Ha ha, but I bitchen scared you out of your bitchen wits, didn’t I?”

“That’s not the point!”

“Yeah, I’m pretty bitchen, sometimes. I try to be bitchen modest, but bitchen, that was pretty bitchen!”

“…Are you going to give us candy or what?”

“Oh yeah!”

The masked Dubya turned to his side and held up some boxes of nerds, which all appeared to have been openned.

“Now, kids, remember that bitchen degree in physics I have? I finally put it towards something bitchen! I started with some bitchen nerds, boiled them, and through a process of bitchen complex molecular dehydration, I created… SuperNerds! They’re pretty bitchen. They’re the most single-concentrate entities of sugar on this bitchen planet.”

Each took a couple boxes and put them in their pockets, away from the rest of their mildly blood-stained candy.

“You bitchen kids are lucky you came when you did.” The masked Dubya came out of his house with a carton of eggs, and locked the door behind him. “I’m off to ‘visit’ Mister Kat’s house. You kids have a bitchen night. And remember: Be bitchen!” He ran off down the block the opposite way they came, egg carton tucked under his arm.

Even before the BIGGAYBUDDIES neared the next house, they could hear clear sounds of sexual activity. It sounded like the whole house was rocking. BIGGAYDAN could hear a female voice screaming unusually loud, even for copulation. And he could hear an equally pervasive male voice. He wasn’t so sure they should visit that house.

“Uhh, guys.. maybe we should skip this house…”

Simmons put his arms around BIGGAYDAN’S waist, “Oh, don’t be a silly dilly, BIGGAYDAN.” With one hand, he reached down and gave BIGGAYDAN’s flaccid GIANTMANCOCK a squeeze. He moved past BIGGAYDAN, openned the screen door, and knocked.

At once, the sexual activity stopped. The BIGGAYBUDDIES listened to the sound some somebody’s footsteps race towards the door. The front door flew open and before them stood a very nude, very large breasted woman who absolutely reeked of sex. The BIGGAYBUDDIES were too speechless to even say “trick or treat”.

“Umm..”

BIGGAYDAN tried to look her in the eyes and avoid glancing her nude body. Especially the sexual fluids that were oozing down her thighs.

A voice was heard from inside the house, “GOD DAMN IT, GET BACK HERE AND LET ME FUCK YOU!”

The woman yelled back, “Oh, I’LL GET BACK THERE IN A MINUTE AND FUCK YOU GOOD AND HARD!” She looked back at the scared BIGGAYBUDDIES. “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve been so horny lately. I wanted to wait until after we stopped getting trick or treaters, but… Well, we couldn’t help ourselves.” She was still panting and sweating from activity of olympic proportions.

“Oh yeah. You want candy, BIGGAYDAN.” Her sweaty hands reached into a bowl of candy next to the door and put some in each of their BIGGAYSACS.

Completing her task, a man with short blue hair and a huge boner appeared behind her. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m going to fuck you?”

The girl turned around and smiled. She reached out to fondle his cock while leaning close to him, “I see you’ve got your sword drawn.”

“I’m going to impale you.”

“Are we going back to the bedroom or not?”

They kissed passionately.

“Doesn’t look like it.”

“You’ve always been my favorite blue swordsman.”

The BIGGAYBUDDIES could only stare in awe as the couple began to uhhhhhhhhh… express their love physically. They moved backwards, away from the copulating couple. Moving towards the next house, Simmons looked in his BIGGAYSAC.

“I got a rabbit? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

BIGGAYDAN looked in his BIGGAYSAC.

“I .. I got a rock?”

They stopped in between the houses, the moans still audible. BIGGAYDAN pulled the rock out of his sac. Arnold glanced at the rock. “ARNOLD DINK ITS A BAHT PLAHG.” Tossing the rock butt plug, they moved to the next house.

“TRICK OR TREAT!”

The front door openned, though nobody was there. BIGGAYDAN peered into the house, but saw nothing. An ominous voice charged through the emptiness.

“This is a test. This is a test. This is a test. This is a test…”

“Uh?”

“This is a test. This is a test. This is a test…”

Candy magically floated out of nowhere and into their sacs.

“This is a test. This is a test. This is a test…”

Again walked backwards from the house, they moved to the next house.

This is a test. This is a test…

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Blue swordsman eh? <3

October 31, 2003

lol. i read the middle! honest i did! 🙂 i’m glad i did too.. got a good laugh outta the ‘this is a test’ 🙂 hugs,

November 2, 2003

I live next to the ZW? Who lives next to the Kat? You should probably see a therapist about this. 😉

November 2, 2003

Okay, nevermind. Not Kat. But .. one hell of a funny mistake I made, eh?