Rising Stress.

I didn’t finish the Socialism and Communism midterm. I gave myself last Saturday to be social, and I enjoyed it. Besides, I did very little on Friday. I needed that break. ..I want to hand it in on Wednesday. I’m effectively fucked if he doesn’t accept it. He better. It’s college. Deadlines don’t exist.

There’s those two Metaphysics papers that are weeks past due. If I could get them out of the way, I could study for the midterm. Which is Friday.

I’m not sure where to begin with Expos 2. That paper that was due ages ago. I just don’t want to do it. We were supposed to have picked topics weeks ago. The first draft is due Friday. Ha ha. I’ve barely done any research. I’ll be fine in the class if I just do everything eventually.

So the thought of trying to put together a resume and look for a summer job right now is not something I need to add to the stack. At all. Stress, stress.

I’m putting off reading that book for Motivation and Emotion. It’s easy to do. It’s just at the bottom of me OMGIAMGOINGTOFAIL list. It’s really all this week. That’s.. all I have? Not much left of Monday, and my mood is sinking fast. I was able to sustain two weeks of doing shit, now I’m not sure if I have anything left. The mood will pass if I do the right mental trick, I’m just not sure which one it is. I have two things to do, and I’m not sure which to do. If I do both at once, I’ll kill myself. Which is why I didn’t touch Metaphysics over break. God damn it, I don’t want to fail out of this semester.

Okay, I have tonight. I have tonight. I can read. Something, anything. But, I really want to do something to take my mind off all of this. Not feeling horny at all. *sighs* There’s tomorrow. I wonder when I’ll take an hour and declare my major, I have my unofficial transcript. I should just forget about it until next week. There’s no recitation for CS211 tomorrow. Wait, I never really went to those recitations anyway. You’d think I’d be able to accomplish something being free from the hours of 3 PM until I fall asleep.

Okay, that midterm is due Wednesday. I should do that first. Hell, I know I can bullshit the rest of the first half. It’s the second question, which asks about the progress of the socialist movement in russia by 1914. Fuck if I know. I just have a hard time connecting things in the reading and whatever he babbled about in class. Sometimes it happens. It just. *sighs* I’m tempted to look up sparknotes. But I’m afraid I won’t find anything. So I haven’t checked.

There’s that paper I’ll have to do in the next month for Socialism and Communism, which I mentioned. A paper for Metaphysics. How the fuck am I supposed to write a ten page paper for Metaphysics when I’m too chickenshit to read the readings? And, the uberresearch paper for Expos 2. *sighs* And I KNOW there’s going to be some programs for Computer Architecture. How the fuck am I supposed to manage all of this next month?

Blaah. I want a loving blowjob to calm me down.