On Eventual Circumcision Acceptance.

Something I wrote to someone.

You’re completely right, though. It IS there, it DID happen, and it is NOT going away. I don’t need to resign myself to some depressive state over my penis. Pouting won’t change what happened. I can make changes, yes, but the fact that I was circumcised will never changed. I SHOULD be okay with it. I should be able to say, “I was circumcised as an infant against my consent, I wish I was not circumcised, I wish I had the penis I was born with. But I am circumcised, I have a circumcision scar, and I accept this. My penis is circumcised.”

…

This is my face. This is my hair. These are my hands. These are my balls. This is my anus. This is my eyesight. Some girls foresake their curves, their appetite. Their breast size. I think circumcision bothers me because someone DID this to me, whereas your body is in your DNA. Rape really is the closest thing. You’re so angry because someone violated your body against your will. How dare someone do that to me, they say.

But it happened, and life has to go on.

I’ve been told before that maybe I should “accept” my circumcision. But the timing, and the wording came out wrong. Perhaps I’m closer to closure than I give myself credit for. I like my body. I really do. Like, my balls. I adore my balls. I adore my TimmyTummy. My penis really is the only part of my body I’m not 100% with. For shame, eh?

I could contrive other reasons, but circumcision is the only reason I’m not fully secure with my penis. Size? Yeah, I’d like a little more. But, that’s not a big deal. My girth is good, and I’m above average. Erectile reliability? That’s all psychological. I get sad that my penis is circumcised. It’s as simple as that. It’s a topic that makes me very emotional, very fast. It’s not a matter of “getting over” anything. It’s not a matter of ever saying, “I am glad” this happened. No, nobody is ever “glad” something bad happened to them.

But you do eventually accept what happened and move on with your life. Find a way to face your emotions. To know something bad happened to my penis, and I will be okay. My penis doesn’t need my scorn or my resentment. My penis isn’t the enemy, my penis is the victim. It’s not my penis’s fault he’s circumcised. I should love my penis as he is. It is not my penis’s fault he’s circumcised.