My Penile Rationalization.

I’ve come across the only reason for my circumcision that makes any sense to me. My penis was so awesomely perfect, that they HAD to cut off some of it, as they felt it would make the other little boys feel inadequate, make all adults feel inferior, as well as be awesomely perfect for masturbation and other sexual activities. They just could not contain my penis! MY PENIS CAN NOT BE CONTAINED!

See, I was talking to Amber about her boyfriend’s flaccidity. I asked her to inspect it. Turns out that in addition to having full retraction when erect, he actually does not have full coverage when flaccid, either. Which I find fascinating, as he has the same size penis as me. I’m well aware of the variety of foreskins out there. This is where I point out that circumcision makes all penises homologous. It’s the same way there’s so much variety in labia minora, and trimming all of the lips out there would make all vulvas look the same, in a bad way. Foreskins = personality!

(After all, I recall circlist.com championing the standard-issue “All-American Circumcision.” Horrible website. Sorry, kid, it looked better BEFORE.)

I’ll never know how much foreskin I had originally. I have a suspicion that I’m going to end up with more skin than I would have had originally. It’s possible! I’ll have more skin than some intact guys.

I’m sick of this internal garbage that my penis is ugly. Entering the argument just frustrates me. Like I’ve said before, I hate the scar. If this were anything else, I’d just exit the conversation. Because otherwise, from a proportions perspective, my penis is awesome. But no, I’m hung up on that goddamn fucking scar. It’s too wide on the top side, it’s jagged on the bottom, this and that. That’s not fair to my penis. As I’ve said before, it’s not my penis’s fault he’s circumcised.

My penis was awesomely perfect. A lie? A choice. Fact is, there was no reason for my circumcision. I was a victim of ignorance, plain and simple. So I’ll invent a reason that makes me feel better. Combat a lie with a lie. My penis is not ugly, IT’S AWESOMELY PERFECT and can not be contained!

To date, it’s the only rationalization I’ve come across that makes me smile. So I’m sticking with it. I deserve to think about my penis positively! My penis is awesomely perfect and I will nobody can stop me from restoring it! I will have the biggest, longest foreskin in the world! Grawr.