My Left Testicle.

I need to see a urologist. I’d like to get my genitalia professionally examined. I really doubt it’s anything serious, but still, better safe than sorry.

Tuesday night/Wednesday morning:

Something doesn’t feel right.

A long time ago, I noticed how my right testicle seemed to be almost missing cords. I can feel where it’s attached to the body. The blood supply, maybe. Maybe there is some other shit in there, that I just can’t feel all that well. My left testicle? Tube-age. Tubeage up the wazoo. One of the reasons my left testicle hangs lower than the right. But really, just looking at the sac, you can’t see much of a difference, if any.

I check my balls regularly. Because I like touching myself. I masturbate a lot, to maintain regular prostate health. But, this isn’t right. I’m trying to put into words what I’m describing, so I can compare it to how it feels tomorrow. The testicle itself seems normal, about the same size as my right testicle. Where the tubes come off of the left testicle… It.. It’s not a lump. It’s not a lump. It’s something. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not supposed to be there. It feels hard. It has a different texture than the testicle, and certainly different than the cords. Seminal vessicals, or whatever the fuck they’re called. I know female anatomy more than male anatomy. When I squeeze it, there’s a dull ache. You’ll think, “Dude, don’t squeeze yourself down there.” You’d be surprised how much the testicles can take without pain. Normal examination of the testicles involves absolutely no pain. I can touch my right testicle and there is no pain. I touch my left, and if I apply any pressure to that.. thing coming off of the testicle, I feel pain. Dull ache.

This isn’t right. What do I do? This isn’t something you GOTO your parents to. “Hi mom, I’d like to have a doctor grab my balls.” What if it’s cancer? What if it isn’t? If it isn’t, what the fuck is it? I know I should do something, if only to calm myself. Not to mention out of necessity. It’s just on the testicle. I still got another one left. Or right. Ha ha. Um. My family doctor never made me feel all that comfortable. “Hi, can you feel my balls?” Maybe I should see a urologist. Heck, I’d almost feel more comfortable with a girl. A hot girl. Um. No, Timmy, Miami can’t feel your balls for you. Nor can any other amateur, unless it’s for fun. Urologist. “Yeah, can you massage my prostate while you’re fondling my balls?”

I’m scared. I’ll check it in the morning and so some research. I wasn’t planning on masturbating tonight, and I won’t be. If I ever ejaculate blood, then I’ve got a serious problem. And .. I want to know what’s going on…

And yesterday:

I don’t think it’s on my testicle, as much as it’s an enlargement of my epididymis. Or something.

… I should get this checked out …

I’ve concluded it’s something to do with my epididymis. The testicle itself seems fine. There just seems to something in the cord, conveniently near the testicle, effectively scaring the crap out of me. It feels hard. Damn it, I’m not a doctor person. I’m off for the rest of this week and next week, so I better do something in that span of time. Or, as Poptart suggested, wait until I’m in school. *laughs* To avoid having to say anything to my parents. “Yeah mom, I’d like to get my BALLS looked at.”

Eh, worst case scenario, I lose a nut. Best case scenario, it’s nothing. But uh. *points down* Something’s not right down there! In any event, I’ll still have my poor neglected right testicle. How ironic. I feel like Tom Green. Ha ha, I should film everything. If only…