Me-Day

I’ve decided to give myself a me-day. For the past two months, every time I get home, I get off to Erik’s or elsewhere. It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and just spent time with Timmy. Thought about how Timmy is feeling. Not necessarily about where Timmy is going, but what he’s doing right now. Stop and smell the Timmy.

I overheard Jenny inviting Natasha to a party she’s throwing Friday. I piped in and whined how I’m never included. Jenny said I could come. *laughs* …She then said how Melissa and Mike (her ex) would be there. I told her I wouldn’t come, then. Jenny told me to just be myself – and not hit on her. But I said I’d feel weird.

Later, Jenny decided she should set me up with a girl. *laughs* Good luck! Not just anybody can date me.

Melissa’s a dead-end and I know it. I just hope I haven’t gotten myself in too deep.

Just like last Sunday, Angie let me wear her manager’s card all day. It just made me feel secure. I knew I didn’t need to worry about getting Angie. I can handle just about everything. I’m kind of surprising myself, I was doing some more delegating today. Natasha sliced bread for line for me. I had Jenny toss up bagels and check coffees a couple times. Heck, I think I had everybody check coffees for me. Yet, somehow, they got ignored. Whatever, can’t say I didn’t try. I had Sam slice lunch samples. I also had her make boxes. I guess I had them do things I would have done if I wasn’t watching register. My days of running around doing everything are over. At least, on the days I open. We’ll see how I am when I have a 7 AM shift again.

*****

I napped. I’m usually so against napping, but I decided to just go with it. It was around 2:30 before, it’s now past 8 PM. I feel.. calm and refreshed. I don’t feel all pressured to find something to do with myself. I don’t know why I do that to myself. Maybe this notion I have to make every second count. Nice endeavour, but I still take things way too seriously. This is unwinding; I’m just sitting around listening to music, thinking about random things.

I haven’t listened to Steal This Album in a while. I remember loving it, but I never had the inclination to listen to it for a while. System of a Down is like that. I feel an association with the music. I bought this album during a very dark period. The music makes me want to bounce and dance, yet I feel a bad taste in the back in my mind. I remember .. sitting in my dorm room? That’s what this reminds me of. Of that complete apathy. I feel quite removed from that now.

Natasha was a girl Mike hired to open, a few months ago. Then she randomly quit. I think she had personal problems, but I’m never one to specifically ask. Today was her first day back. I’m kind of biased against her, in part because she never stocked before she left. *laughs* I remember the three days it was just me, Natasha, and Becky. I felt like I was doing everything. But, nevermind that.

Natasha just said something to me about how I’m… happier? I’m joking more? I suppose she’d know, she hasn’t seen me since last February. If she notices a difference, maybe I am happier. ..*smiles* Cool.

I’m glad I told Mike that I like openning. After Natasha left, I was given more openning days. (Peaking last week at four days.) It’s just easier if I’m given certain responsibilities by default, as opposed to feeling like I’m covering for other people. Having my name in the bakery register gives me the license to tell people what to do? *laughs* As I’ve said, my days of running around doing everything are over. I can’t be in a million places at once – and still watch my own register.

I’ve had this craving for Arby’s lately. You have to understand the complete lack of Arby’s in New Jersey. They just aren’t all that prevelant. I’ve only eaten at them out-of-state. However, I know there’s one in Mansfield. It’s a good drive away, but that’s what a craving is. A beef and cheddar and some curly fries. That’ll make my evening. Fuck McDonald’s every five feet. (Though, I do like having a Dunkin Donuts and 7-11 every five feet.)

*****

(10:25 PM)

I love New Jersey. While it would be utterly confusing to describe all the turns I made, I can easily drive from here to Mansfield while avoiding 46. The route is almost alongside 46, where most right turns lead to 46. But you have to live around here to not get confused while driving. It probably didn’t save me any time, but it didn’t really cost much extra time, either. I’d much prefer racing around backroads than battling traffic.

Fittingly, there was a Dunkin Donuts by the Arbys. But, nevermind that. I sat in the middle seat of the van and ate my beef and cheddar. Exactly what I wanted. And curly fries. I was quite content. I was reminded of two summers ago when I ate Blimpie’s every other day in the middle seat. Subways kind of sucks after you eat Blimpies for so long.

A couple months ago, I was obsessed with Sims. I knew once I stopped playing, it would be hard to get back into the groove. I was right. I’m either Simming, or not Simming. I still haven’t installed WarCraft III, in part because I know once I do, I won’t stop playing it for a while.

92.3 and 105.5 have fallen out of favor with me. I’m listening to 95.1 more often now. So much for me not listening to radio. *shrugs*

*****

I watched UHF with the commentary on. I finally know that UHF stands for Ultra-High Frequency. Sure, I knew what UHF was. I just was never sure on what it stood for. *nodnod*

I think I’ll pee and GOTO bed. Me-days. I should do this more often.