Keep rollin` rollin` rollin` rollin`.

Wendi says I seem rather upbeat. I guess I am. After everything that’s happened, the fighting, the bickering, the make-up sex, there just reaches a point where I don’t want to be with somebody that doesn’t want to be with me. She doesn’t like things about me. Sharon left a private note once saying that you won’t want to change a thing about the person you marry. Paige wants a boyfriend with higher hygiene than me. She also doesn’t want a boyfriend who wears his hoodie constantly. … She never did really understand my sense of humor, or my way of thinking. It’s easier to let her go when I agree with her on how different we are. I may accept her as she is, but I guess she’d rather not futz around with somebody she knows she ultimately won’t want to be with.

It is as I said to Paige a couple days ago. Unlike times in the past, I have friends who care about me. They will look after me and tell me what I need to hear. It’s nice having that safety net. Much easier going through life when you know people give a shit about you.

I feel like buying a sex toy for myself. Or going to a strip club. Never really had the urge to go, before. Probably won’t. I think it’s disassociative. Feel like doing something for myself.

After the chili we had last night, I feel like making my own. Find a recipe and tweaking it to my tastes.

All my possessions are back in that tiny room, again. I will have to allocate some space in the closet for my clothes. I just have so much! It was a pain packing, this morning. I had all my things in the van that I was bringing to Indiana, and I had to stuff all the things I had in Arlington into there.

It’s kind of relaxing to have it over. I don’t have to stress over us anymore.

I’ve already masturbated, twice. As much as physical pleasure with a partner is nice, I must admit that I miss taking matters into my own hands. I remember talking to Cliff about how I think sex is overrated. He said to me that all guys think that. I laughed. Ah, and we also talked about how we lacked decent male role models. He said how he guessed at what a male should be and tried to be that. I said I knew what a male was and tried to not be that. I’m amused at how we’ve ended up being similar despite opposite approaches.