If I Was A Girl…

Oh god, it feels so good to take my bra off. I don’t even know why I wear that thing. My boobies aren’t even that big. I love my boobies. I feel sorry for girls who get backaches from their boobies. Mine are very manageable. I suppose I could just go without a bra. But, then my nipples would poke against my shirt. Eh, it’s either having guys stare at my tits, or whatever’s against them.

Not that I mind or anything. I kinda like the attention. I don’t mind if a guy stares at my body, so long as he isn’t drooling down my neck. Hell, I stare at guys all the time. If I see a fine ass, I’ll check it out. Oh god, I was in lecture today, and the guy next to me so obviously had a boner. I pity guys who get those. He was trying to cover it up, but doing that only drew my attention to it. He seemed to have a pretty nice cock. So glad I don’t have a penis, or else he might have noticed that I was getting wet thinking about blowing him. Nevermind that if I had a penis I wouldn’t be getting wet.

So I was talking about my breasts, right? I bought this really cute pink bra that makes me boobies look HUGE. Well, not that huge, but bigger than normal. I love showing cleavage now and then. My boobies aren’t THAT small, they just fit my body. I’m so narcissist, I gotta stop taking nudies of myself. I bet if I submitted some of my pictures to some websites, some guy will end up jerking off to my pictures. Ooh, I kinda like that. Or some girl. That’s okay, too. I made this really hot video of me masturbating last night. It’s really sad when you can come five times watching yourself masturbate. It’s just. When I watch myself masturbate, it’s like, “Wow, I so remember how good that felt.” And so I get more aroused.

The great thing about being a girl is that it’s so easy to get cock online. I don’t mean swinging, I just mean getting guys to send you pics of themselves. Silly boys, so willing to show any vaguely interested girl his weiner. It’s amazing what you can get them to do if you ask. I could so crush their egos if I said bad thing about their weiners. “It’s small.” “That’s all?” “You’re too hairy.” “Your scar looks funny.” “Curvy little thing.” “Can’t you hit the wall?” Ha ha. I love cum. I love watching guys masturbate. And watching that look on their faces when they pleasure themselves. Mmmmmm.

I’m nakie. I can smell my pussy. I should really shower more. I mean, being a girl and all, it’s important to smell nice. Of course, I think the reason I can smell my pussy is because I masturbate so much. I do need to shave my armpits and my pussy. Summer’s winding down, so I’m getting kinda lazy with my legs. I like having smooth legs, but it takes too much effort to maintain. I like getting waxed. I want to get a brazialian someday. Mmm, smooth pussy and no shaving! I can’t believe I shave my pussy when I don’t even have a boyfriend. Whatever. Makes me feel sexy. And I really can’t see letting the hair down there grow out. Makes me feel clean to be smooooth. *nods*

I’m so going to masturbate tonight. I’m due for my period soon. Blah. Why can’t it all come out in convenient plastic mini-bags that you can just toss in the trash? Or can’t the uterine lining be renewed without it being shed? If this is the best way Big G could think of, well damn it, Big G has some definite complaints from me. And the rest of the female gender. Come on, ladies, do we really want our periods? HELL NO. Maybe if we all went on strike to not reproduce, that would get Big G’s attention. That’s assuming A. He’d alter all our genetic structures in a flash and B. that he even exists. But hey, I gotta blame someone for my cramps.

Maybe I’ll blame Bush for my cramps. No, not my pubic hair back when it was long. I mean that guy in the White House. He seems to be out to save the world. Well, the world outside of the US. He doesn’t seem to give a shit about domestic affairs. Bush doesn’t respect the authority of my Vagina. Fuck the middle east, what about me? Health insurance will pay for guys to get boners, but we still have to pay for the fucking pill? There’s something wrong with that logic. I’m sorry, but bleeding once a month IS A DEFINITE MEDICAL CONDITION. Sure, I deal. I plug my Vagina with a tampon and deal with the mood swings, the random food cravings, and, of course, the pain. (Okay, the pain isn’t that bad. But, still, I could do without.) But, I’d just assume go on the pill and have this whole circus not be so animated every month. Big G must really laugh his ass of when I’m horny as hell AND I’M BLEEDING. Of course, I’ve gotten over touching myself when I’m menstruating. But still, it’s messier than non-menstruating masturbation. And guys get all weirded out about the thought of touching a menstruating girl. Wussies.

Ugh, I have this huge taco craving. I know, “tacos?” Most girls crave chocolate. Heck, I do, too, most of the time. But right now… nothing would make me wetter than some homemade taco salads. Oh god. I gotta go home this weekend and have some. *pauses to fantasize about eating a taco salad*

Ooh, Hanson just came up on my playlist. I love those boys. Such beautiful music. I can’t believe they got thrown in the mix of the “boy band” catagories. Just because a band has all boys who are hotties, doesn’t mean it’s a boy band. I’d like to have a foursome with them. I’ve got enough holes. Mmmmm. So sexy. The youngest one grew up! I remember when I wanted to molest him. Well, sure, I was younger, too. But, still. I imagined myself showing him the ropes. Now I fantasize about being a sex slave to all three of them. Mmmmm. They have penises. Three of them! Well, one each. I love the cock. Such a curious entity. I love to watch it dance. I have strong pussy muscles, but my tricks aren’t so noticable. *pouts*

I feel like a whore, I love giving head. Silly society. Is there something wrong with getting joy and fulfillment out of pleasuring a guy? I think not. It’s not like I blow random guys. I want to date a guy I like and blow him religiously. *nods* Guys like that, right? Of course, I’d never date his guy for his dick. I like smaller dicks, easier to fellate. I’m a virgin, anyway, so I haven’t thought about how cock size would factor into my pleasure. I’ve heard it’s more how you use it. And since I really don’t care about cock size, I suppose the whole “psychological” aspect of big cocks would be null on me. For the best, I’d rather not be ripped apart or have my cervix hit during sex. I heard having your cervix hit during sex tickles. I’d hate to have an itch there, how the hell are you supposed to scratch it?

Under 1000 chars left. I could keep writing, but eh, I’m just babbling. I should GOTO the library, anyway. I’m a dumb, lazy, bimbo, I am. I bet I could masturbate in the library. I can be stealth silent, if I really want to get myself off. Ha ha, my ex-roommate had no idea what I used to do at night. :: emits Aura :: Of course, I do most of my masturbating in front of the computer. *giggles* Stickie keyboard. I need to air out the room. Always smells funny in here. Anyway, away I go. *blows kisses to all*