How To Restore Your Foreskin, Part I

I’ve had this entry fermenting for the past three weeks, since I wrote I Am A Victim of Circumcision. That entry just took me digging into my emotions to find the flames. But this entry is less about me and more about trying to explain what it is I’m doing about the little guy.

Depending on how I write it, it may end up being read by people who know nothing about me. That’s to be expected in InternetLand. Many people curious, “Wow, you can do that?” There’s always one ignoramus who spouts, “Don’t hurt your dick!” I smack my forehead in advance.

My real audience is somewhat more personal. There is only one logical audience: the circumcised male. But more specifically, the circumcised male who is curious about restoration. Those of us that have a commonality amongsts our penises.

I can not know why you are here. I can not know whether you are pained by your circumcision, or whether you’re just morbidly curious. I’ve said that there are two types of circumcised males: Those that recognize what they’ve lost, and those that haven’t. I used to be of the later. What is this foreskin we speak of? We grow up seeing our two-tone penis and assume that is normal. At least, my penis was two-tone, almost three-tone if you take the scar into account. A normal flesh color down the shaft, then a distinct brown ring, then a consistent gray tone along the rest and the head. But that’s me, your penis may vary.

There’s a bit of psychology involved with foreskin restoration. I didn’t have much to go on when I started, so all my emotions were pretty pure. I saw myself as wounded, imperfect, lacking something. I knew that I was denied a part of my body, and that I would never experience again. Part of me hoped there would be some sort of miracle where everything would go back to the way it was when I was born. Let’s get this straight: Your penis is injured. It will never have full capacity. But what do we do with any other injured part of our body? We baby it, we heal it, we put it through therapy, and make damn sure we can do the best we can with it.

Do you need to restore your foreskin? No. After all, don’t so many circumcised men in denial claim how content they are? It’s not my place to put my agony onto them. Stopping the cycle of violence and preventing harm to those without a voice is one side of the battle. For someone like me, taking back control of my own body is an important part of recovery. Do not let anybody tell you that you should “shut up” and be happy it was done. If you are in pain, that pain is your own, and nobody should invalidate it. I said if; if you’re scratching your head at why you should feel psychological trauma due to circumcision, feel free to stop reading now.

Foreskin restoration is like weight training for your penis. It’s a progressive weight resistance program (via basic principals of skin expansion) which will give you more penis than you had when you started. It’s therapy to make the most of your penis. Your foreskin is gone. No amount of manipulation can bring it back. Sensitivity? Appearance? This depends on what’s left. At birth, the foreskin adheres to the glans. A forceps typically is used to separate the two conjoined entities. The result? The pitted appearance of my glans. My pitted glans will never heal. But the rest of my glans has gone from gray to a rather healthy pink/red complexion, proof that the body can heal, in part, if given a chance.

Why all this downplaying? Shouldn’t I be touting The Holy Foreskin? Because wondering what it would have been like will not do you any good. Instead, wonder what it CAN be like. Contrary to popular belief, the foreskin is not a separate entity. Technically, the foreskin doesn’t exist at all. The foreskin is a region of penile skin that folds under itself to cover the glans, and retract (on some men, depending on shaft skin availability) upon erection. An erect intact penis is like an erect circumcised penis – except it has more penis. An intact penis has enough shaft skin so that it can be rolled over the glans to the male’s pleasure. Why anyone would think this is a bad thing is beyond me.

I grew up using lotion to masturbate, an artificial lubricant. The circumcised penis has had the middle of the shaft skin excised and removed, the bloody ends left to heal together to form the scar we all have. I reiterate: What’s gone is gone, but we can make the most of what is left.

Nine paragraphs in and only now do I start in on actual theory. Because there isn’t much to it. Foreskin restoration amounts to applying the basic principal of skin expansion: Apply tension to skin, cells will grow to relieve the pressure. Proper phrasing or not, that’s how it works. Look at the skin you have left. You want to apply tension so that it will eventually cover your glans. You will want to apply tension longitudinally, across the shaft skin.

Pretend you’re a slacker college student. How would you apply tension?

The best way is by using a tugger. By tugger, I mean a device that grasps the shaft skin and applies tension to both the inner foreskin remnant, and the outer shaft skin. Mine looks something like this:

The goal is not to create a vacuum. It does literally grasp the skin and tugs on it using no tape. Tension applied is up to the male. It should not be uncomfortable. After a while, I stop noticing I’m wearing it. Yes, I’m serious. Go be skeptical somewhere else. I reiterate: If your penis ever feels uncomfortable you’re doing it wrong. This is not something any doctor will know jack shit about. This is guerilla body modification. It took a couple seconds for your foreskin to be sliced away. It will take a couple years for you to heal.

Tuggers are the best way, but some guys don’t have enough initial slack to do this. Baby penises all look the same. There is no amount of skin that is “right” to cut off. None should be the correct answer. If you were tightly circumcised, fear not, there is hope. Something I relied on during the summer to keep my glans covered was tape-ringing. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A ring of tape.

No, I’m not showing you pictures. Use your college imagination.

With little to go on, I had to figure it out myself. Pull the shaft skin up over your glans. This may cause your penis to disappear. Relax, the glans was meant to be an internal organ anyway. Oh, should have told you to get a strip of tape ready. With time, you’ll learn how long it needs to be. What kind of tape? I prefer 3M paper tape. It’s skin-friendly, at least for me. It adheres, but eventually will fall off on its own accord over a few days. WIth one hand, hold the shaft skin over, With the other, wrap the tape around the skin over your glans. I make it tight enough so that the skin does not retract, but loose enough so that with a little encouraging I can retract the skin and urinate. Did I say retract? Oh yes, I said retract. Retraction is your birthright. Go get it back.

There’s t-taping, but I couldnever figure it out. Some guys use o-rings, which are literally a rubbery garden hole thingie. I’ve tried them, gotten the skin to pull through, but due to circulation issues, or it simply coming off. I tend to tug during cold weather, then give myself the summer off and tape-ring to guarentee coverage.

Once I started restoring, there was a psychological change. I was no longer circumcised. I was decircumcising. I could no longer wear boxers without tape-ringing, as I did not want my glans exposed to abrasive cotton. The days of my glans being assaulted by the elements are over.

So I turn to you, the curious reader, the aspiring restorer. This is not an overnight fix. This is not a summer camp. This will take time. You will be frustrated, and you will undoubtedly go through many emotions throughout your restoration. Time and time again, you may find yourself needing to explain yourself to others. It frustrates me at times, as well. I explain and explain, yet there’s one person right beyond the other, waiting to ask, “Wait, you do what with your WHAT?”

We are pioneers. I hope to see the dark age of Routine Infantile Circumcision come to an end. How far has civilization come only to turn around and mark its own children? Say not, “It was good enough for me”, but say, “My children can have better.” Aspiring restorer, there are more of us than you know.

Of course, all this ra ra ra, and there’s still the matter of your penis. Years after starting on the long journey of restoration that I realized something: I still hadn’t accepted my penis. Maybe you’re not ready. Maybe you’re still angry. Maybe you’re still thinking, “What the hell are you talking about, I’m glad I was mutilated!” So be it. Do not think of your penis as good or bad. Look at the bare facts. Your penis is damaged, wounded. Your penis needs you to love it. And I’m not talking about masturbation. Say to your penis, “You are good enough for me.” It may sound silly, but typically the most vulnerable emotions a human can have will sound silly to you because you’re fearful of anyone invalidating you.

Celebrate your penis. Celebrate your body. Celebrate life. That’s the only body you’re going to have. Yes, dealing with why it happened is important. But it can’t overrun your life. Healing, accepting that it happened, doesn’t mean the initial pain is invalid or immature. You can only celebrate your penis as it grows and thrives anew if you accept it now. Otherwise, how will your penis ever be good enough for you? I hoped I’d never see that horrid circumcision scar ever again. Naturally, it’s kind of there, no matter what I do. I celebrate the progress I’ve already made.

But I fear I’ve gotten a little off-course. To be expected. I’m the kind of guy that could start off writing about how Dick Cheney has a gun, then end up discussing how to take over the world with a taco.

Any questions?