Timmy

August 31, 2003

Next: Zomby-Timmy Theme of the Week Directory.

How To Deal With People You Run Into In College.

Phase One: The easiest way to avoid people is to simply not leave your dorm room. If you don’t leave your dorm room, you can’t meet people! And thus, if you haven’t met people yet, you have nobody to avoid.

Phase Two: So you’ve ventured outside. You’ll want to be aware of your surroundings. If you see large crowds of people, take a different route to avoid them. Look at who people are. Obviously, if you don’t know who people are, they’re not a threat. LOOK at people. If you see somebody you recognize, keep your head on the path and move away in a 90 degree angle. *nods* Or something like that.

Phase Three: The dining hall is infested with people that just want to say hi to you. If one person knows who you are, undoubtedly, you’ll be forced to meet all forty of her closest friends. So the key is to avoid these few “gateway” people. Learn the eating habits of your acquaintences. If they like eating around 6, eat around 7. Learn where they like to sit. Make your own habits, and if they work, stick with them.

Phase Four: Oh no, you’ve been spotted! No, don’t smile, unless it comes naturally. Say something to the effect of, “Um, hi?” You’ll undoubtedly get asked how you’ve been. Be honest. Having a shitty day? Say so! “Yeah, I’m doing pretty shitty.” This will catch most people off-guard. Don’t bullshit yourself and others by faking happiness. You want people that will put up with your bad moods, right? Be completely honest. Explain how someone in your hall forgot to flush. Or how you were caught masturbating by your roommate. Or how, well, you just feel like shit.

Phase Five: You’ve been invited to a social activity! What to do? Be honest. Do you really want to hang out with those asswenches? If you have the time and you aren’t completely annoyed by them, do it. Otherwise, casually decline, saying something about how you need to massage your erotic muscle.

There really isn’t much to it. If you REALLY don’t like people, it’s possible to remain a loner for quite some time. I know I have. I’m being sarcastic in this entire entry, naturally. Sadly, I have employed most of this at one point or another. People just suck in college. I know, you can’t find your niche if you don’t go out and meet people. Whatever. Making friends was so much easier in High School when you saw the same people every single day. It’s so much more random in college. I still sit in the dining hall and wonder, “How did those people meet?”

dj_johnnyquest

September 1, 2003

normally my shitty attitude saves me from doing a lot of the socializing bullshit.

Pixel

No one likes to talk to people who’s having a shitty day. Why do people think you have to meet every single person on campus at college!? It’s irritating. Only get to know the people who’ll give you answers to homework when you forget to do them…Or a person who’ll tell you what a novel is about when you didn’t read it. *nods*

laerima

lol, loving phases four and five. i wonder how many of my friends and acquaintances i can freak out using them? hugs,

Evil Peanut

Heeey…I had concrete brick walls and tile floors too! Whee! Word to the wise: Since you’re by yourself, you may get the urge to do a jackie chan karate kick since nobody could POSSIBLY see you do it. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt in socked feet on the tile floor. Results are BAD.

I can relate mostly to the last statement. My small school was, socially, a lot like high school. Ah, who am I kidding, it was a lot like high school in every way, not just socially. Except there were no parents. and the teachers really didn’t give a shit what you did. Why did I want to leave again? lol. I have one friend here whom I need to call. But I’m scared. So I’m not.

MU has 26,000…makes for some crowded streets while class is in session. We have a college ave too!

although i admit (from my previous note which i for some reason left on the previous entry) i do often note other people’s noters if they look interesting. and i mean, with a name like Evil Peanut, how could EP not look interesting? hugs,

wow. Goat Sex. i’ve never had an urge to capitalize Goat Sex before. Goat Sex. whee i just capitalized Goat Sex again! this is fun! hugs,

Oh and it wasn’t the bricks, it was the floor!! My socks gave me no traction on the tile and BOOM…lol, I’m sure the people below me heard it and thought the ceiling was going to cave in. I had the biggest, badass bruise on my hip after that. And I was pulling my pants down to show everybody I could. Ah, college.

I’m thinkin this can work at the bar setting as well. I’ll definently remember these words of wisdom the next time I leave home, thanks Timmy 🙂

Top Secret Phase Six: Roll around in a dead horse carcass for an hour before venturing into public. If anyone is insane enough to come near you, shoot them in the head.

RYN: You do look at women as meat. Your writing indicates that you do…why deny it? It really doesn’t matter it’s your opinion BUT if that’s how you feel it still is worrying.

FallingDog

HEY! THAT WAS PRETTY CHEESY OF YOU!!! CHEESE IS FOR PORNO, NOT MY DIARY!

Nitrojane

for once, i agree with zombywoof. wow.

hahaha your writing indicates you consder women pieces of meat?! since when??

Jubi

Ryn: Yeah in her pussy, not her pocket. She tells me it started to feel less uncomfortable after a while. Catching up on your entries……..

RYN: I’m sorry! I just wondered 😛 You must click a lot of diaries!

Cameo-Brinks

hey hey bricks and morter advise from Timmy..must copy and send to son…

Meginsanity

I saw a lot of people doing this at Girls State. Especially Phase 1. Hermits.

ryn: I agree. Thanks for stopping.

Mmmmmmmmmm…..meat.

“It’s made from people!!!”

Kerowyn

September 2, 2003

It’s harder to be anti-social on female dorm floors. At least in the first semester. All sorts of bubbly sorority types like to go around introducing themselves to everyone on the floor.

i found college to be a MUCH more friendly environment. who wants to see the same people every, anyway?

I just get a to go box. It makes it so much easier. That way I can eat and stare at the computer at the same time!