Getting Vaporized Reduces My Penis Size.

Status Report

Wearing: An old Pearl Jam “Alive” shirt. And I do mean OLD. This shirt is at least ten years old. I remember when Ten came out and people were wearing shirts like this! Green boxers, black jeans, white socks, slippers. I had a red blanket wrapped around me, earlier, but not anymore. Oh, and my tuggy.

WinAmp is Playing: Fixxxer – Metallica

Last ate: Bowl of Cheerios, and a bowl of Rice Krispies. *nods* That was my breakfast. And dinner. And lunch? …Damn, I suddenly feel hungry.

Last round of masturbation: Couple hours ago.

Entry Start Time: 3:08 AM Damn the person who invented Daylight Savings, I always get confused twice a year. Makes me want to live in Arizona.

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

StrangeAnTwiztid: My step sister is completely convinced you are gay because you wear girl panties.
StrangeAnTwiztid: She just went in the room and told my brother “He is gay, I mean, he wears PINK panties!”

I think it’s important to remember that panties are just cotton. (Okay, maybe other materials.) Er, nevermind. I don’t even really care nor mind. I’m really kinda amused at how silly people are.

I bothered to show to that Smash Bros thing. But only after Lloyd called me. *chuckles* I didn’t completely suck. I played decently. Random stupidity claimed me on my first game, I remember. Four suicides. Ick. I’m with Kivudet, the less lives during stock, the better. Seriously. Because with five lives, your best option is to let the other three people beat the shit out of each other, and then “Oops”, you have an extra life or two when they start being eliminated. Samus beat me twice, one on one. I was sooo close to beating him. I thought I could absorb from a megasaur, but.. apparently not. *grumble* BAT TO THE FACE!!! Emo Ness rocks.

“Ha ha, I kill you and you die!” Ah, the things I say in my spare time.

I loaded all my listenable music to my WinAmp playlist. 103 hours, 23 minutes, 48 seconds worth of moozac. I say “listenable”, but I didn’t load (most of) Shawn’s music. I still have his 25 or so gigs of music on my hard drive for no real reason. I am his mirror on Direct Connect! *nods decisively*

I’m surprised, I’m actually playing Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force online. I usually despise playing online. Somehow, getting owned hasn’t been bothering me as much. I actually placed second in one. I was surprised. After a minute into it, I still heard a “You have taken the lead.” I said to myself, “Whoa, I’m not completely sucking!” For those not aware, Elite Force is based on the Quake III engine. Do the math. I find that any map with photon cannons is absolute death for me. Oh, I’m fine against the computer. I own the computer with the photon cannon. But. With multiplayer… I appear, and I die! *cries*

I’m hopelessly addicted to ishotmyself.com. Girls are so beautiful. *sighs*

Anyway, I intend to address the notes left by Miss wingèd medusa. I’ve probably answered this elsewhere, in other words. But, whatever.

If you don’t want to go to your CS classes, why take them?

Because I have to? I don’t really want take the classes.

Why not just pick another major with classes you like?

Because my dad has – I kid you not – said that if I didn’t major in CS, he’d pull funding. Oh, how supportive. I could probably appeal to my mom if I wanted to. But, the fact is that I simply don’t believe in myself enough to try it. Last year, my dad tried talking me into being an engineer. Excuse me? What about me? I’ll endure CS, but there’s no fucking way I’ll be an engineer. I wonder if I’ve written about this. *looks* Yes. Here.

Also… I have no idea what I’d DO with any other degree. As if I’d know what I’d be doing with a CS degree.

Seriously, why are you in college?

I don’t want to be in college. As my Senior Year neared an end, as much as I’d make fun of High School as an institution, I was quite attached to it. I had adapted to it. I was comfortable with it. College? I never knew where I wanted to go. How can one know where to GOTO college if one has never BEEN to college? It seems like a contradiction to ask somebody with no life experience what he intends to do with the rest of his life. Whatever “life experience” qualifies for. In the area of colleges, I had no experience. Oh, I toured colleges. And you know what? They all seemed the same. Homogenous.

I feel like I’ve been fed a lie. All I know about college I know from TV and movies. And, as always, it’s simply not like that. I’ve not ONCE studied outside amongst my peers. The person you are in High School, that dictates how you’ll be in college. At least, for me. I’m the type not to get involved. So I haven’t. I’m the type to be rather anti-social and loathing of most social groups. I get suspicious when people are friendly with me. I keep to myself. I’m deviant. A notable enigma, staying towards the background.

What are you trying to accomplish?

Get a degree and see what the fuck I have to do after that? *laughs* I have no idea. It’s just more school, to me. More meaningless work. More facts to memorize. Prepare for a career? I have no idea what a ‘career’ is. How can I know what I want to do if I’ve never done anything? Ha ha. It’s like moving to another planet and being asked, once you get there, “So, what kind of food would you like?” If you’ve never tasted that food before, how can you know what to choose?

I’m saying that not to try to convince you that it’s all pointless and futile, but to ask you to take a look at your motivations and what your really want to be doing right now.

For the past three or four years, I’ve thought, “I’ll figure it out.” And still, to this day, I don’t know.

On an unrelated note, I think I shouldn’t have flipped them off when asked why I didn’t have my hat on. This, after it was asked why I was wearing a cape. I replied that I had it on in my room, was comfortable, and didn’t feel like taking it off. (I was in the lounge playing Smash Bros, by the way.) I like building an image, and then destroying it. Maybe I should retire the hat. Of course, they’ll still ask, just like silly High Schoolers. People get used to you being a certain way, so much so that they expect you to be that certain way.

Eh, the middle finger is barely offensive nowadays.

I want to dye my hair red, but I absolutely refuse to bleach. People kill to get hair this dark.

Of course, change everything, I’ll still be me. Heather called me “one of a kind” today. I forget why. That was before I said she was The Woman, because she was in charge of closing down the lounge. And that she has big ovaries. I forget what else I said. Oh, the pool table was missing the 8 ball and THE CUE BALL. So I said something about how you don’t need all your balls. I say lots of things. I even said, “I fucked your boyfriend” in an effort to confuse the competition. All-male competition, I might add. Ha ha. I laugh.