Functionally Inoperative.

This has to be the most bizarre car-related problem I’ve ever had. The Van just refuses to move. I know most will take this out of context, so I’ll explain.

A couple weeks ago, some guy in my house needed a jumpstart. I have jumper cables. So I said Sure, I’ll give you a jump. I was worried about the battery in the van. I had turned the lights all the way off, so the battery was fine. It started. And then. I put it in reverse, and feel it do that normal roll backwards. I gently put my foot on the gas. …And it doesn’t move. Well, it does. I felt it lurch backwards, as if there was a brick behind one of the back wheels, or the back wheels were glued to the pavement. “Hmm.” I put it in drive, since the space in front of me was clear. It lurched forward. Foot on gas. I wasn’t stupid enough to floor it. I know putting foot on gas when it ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE is bad.

Paul (the guy I was going to give a jump to), suggested putting in neutral. Worth a shot. Put it in neutral. Didn’t budge an inch.

My first impulse was that the parking brake was frozen. You know how cold it’s been. Nevermind that the parking brake light was off. I roll through my parking brake all the time! …So it can’t be the parking brake. I turned off the van and fondled my beard.

This is damn peculiar.

(Name the reference and win a prize.)

So, I figured I’d try again when the weather was warmer, or I REALLY REALLY needed to go home. It’s been a number of weeks since then. I went out today to see if the van would move. Um. It refuses to move. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Yeah, yeah, phone home. My mom IMed me. She’s so annoying online. I wish she could actually understand the english I’m putting forth to her. She told me to call dad at work because he’s “looking for something to do.” I still haven’t written down his work number. Hmm. *does so on his Almighty Notepad*

By the way, if anybody in AussieLand wants to talk to me on the phone, I’d like to test this theory I have about Aussie girls having THE CUTEST ACCENTS EVER. *ahem* Unfortunately, this theory is based on a single test subject (Jannnney’s incredibly adorable voice). So um. If you want to smash my delusions, you’re all welcome. *laughs* I never understood Carolyn’s thing for English accents.. But um. Now I do, so yeah. *smirks*

Pilgrim

February 27, 2004

STAR TREK BABY!

Wende

I like breasts also.

timmy is at it again *shakes head* if i knew anything about vans, or cars in general, i would offer helpful advice. but i don’t so i won’t. *licks you*

Vellosa

http://www.polaris.net/services/sound-archive/tv-movie/trek/kirk_damn.au

Parliament

Sounds like transmission trouble. Have you checked the tranny fluid? It’s under the hood, has a screw-top lid with a little bitty plastic dipstick (attached to the lid) that looks like a miniature tongue depressor. That might be it. Your lines could be leaking tranny fluid, too. Or your whole transmission could be shot. Hopefully, you’re just out of fluid. That’s an easy fix. —

transmission is either sticking or going out. make sure you have fluid and then try to roll in first. if that doesnt work you are possibly in deep tribbles.

I went to the Star Trek Expierience in Vegas. They had tribbles for sale! If you smashed it against your hand, it shook and made that tribble noise. I also ate lunch with a female Klingon. *saunters away all cocky like*

Ampris

Australian accents are yummy…

starswillcry

atleast you have one, I am soooo stressed about getting financed, and then picking one I like, Id rather have a van that doesnt move

oobi

dude i will make you a sound wav if you like.

but, unfortunately Janey has the most spectacular voice ever. seriously. None of us can even hope to compete.

Reading this was like deja vu… You pasted the first part from the entry when you first wrote about the van, didn’t you?

Mmm. Dribble 😉 I kid, no need to get out the gun. *goes back to read entry*

Aussie girls DO have the cutest voices. *squeal* Your van sounds like it’s having issues. Take it to a mechanic?

ShatteredSoul

i hope your car feels better soon? *hugs it* POOR VAN! FEEL BETTER! make it some chicken noodle soup? …i guess that wont work as well for vans as it would for people, huh?

Sucks to be you, Timmy boy. I am walking out the door now for a nice relaxing two hour drive with the end result of getting my new car! Allow me a moment of gushiness…*does happy dance* Ok, enough gushiness, I have to go get my new car!

Transmission fluid is red. So it’s not that. However… the line could’ve gotten plugged or something due to the cold weather. —

lulu

rofl… you’re cute! -2 :o)

Yes well Ive never been impressed with my aussie accent, infact when I lived in the uk I use to practice not sounding so aussie, I’d articulate every word to get rid of the twang. Id have to say the sexiest accent is the irish, oh.. and when he said my name… it was so perfect. And the sexiest language, hmm french and italian and spanish..