Formly Mundane Number Deemed Offensive.

(POINT PLEASANT, NEW JERSEY) In a stunning revelation, it has been discovered that the number “ten” is the worse number of all rational numbers. A spokesperson for the number ten has said, “Well, the number was simply tired of being seen as simply a placemarker. The space between twenty and thirty. Ten to the power whatever, as the decimal system is. Ten wants to be lucky like seven or three, or dangerous like thirteen. And more than that, Ten wants to give numbers everywhere a more bad-ass spokesperson. We assume words like fuck and nigger are bad. But, look out, Ten is coming up to ‘Ten you up the Ten, you Tenning Tenner.”

The previous most “bad-ass” number was the number Six Hundred Sixty Six (Or 666), also known as the number of the devil. However, other than shear fear of the number, it is not bad to actually say the number. To call someone a “Six Six Six” is not bad. Ten looks to revolutionize the way we look at numbers. The mere existance of the number in any medium looks to be censored in any way possible. Already, my superiors are looking to censor the excessive use of the word “Ten.” Kinky Diary Master “Bang Bang” Bruce is looking to add “Ten” to the forbidden words you can’t use in notes, alongside “fuck”, “cunt”, “Gladstone”, and “Ableson”. The FBI is looking to turn the “Ten Most Wanted” into the “Eleven Most Wanted”. Congress is already taking steps to remove the dime from American currency. And the Pope has said that anybody caught saying Ten will be Tenned by Ten Ten Tenning Tens in the Tenth Ten of Ten.

While Ten looks to hold the bad-ass position among rational numbers, negative one under a radical looks to maintain it’s position has the most bad-ass irrational number. A spokesperson for negative one under a radical released a statement, “Ten has the advantage of already being something everybody uses. And really, I don’t get it. It’s just a number. Why should it be “bad” or “good”? Regardless of where Ten goes, Negative One Under A Radical looks to remain the irrational number that keeps people like George Carlin out or the really good schools.”