Eye of the Timmy.

Falling asleep last night was a little harder than usual. I thought I’d fall right asleep. I was tired! Alas, I didn’t take any melatonin. The thing is, ever since I was a little child, I’ve always taken a long time to fall asleep. It’s very frustrating. I think I tossed and turned for a half hour, feeling nothing but uncomfortable.

Before chemistry, I asked a kid in my exercise physiology class whether he did the VO2 max stuff. He said he did. See, I didn’t even see that posted until yesterday morning. You have to do some shit on a treadmill. I absolutely positively detest treadmills. Running makes me feel like death. I give up quickly. I wouldn’t do that well. He asked me if I did the research paper proposal.

The what? That’s due today?

I quickly looked in my bookbag for that research paper packet. Tuesday, October 23, 4 PM. I had no idea. I thought it was next week, for some reason. It was around 10:30 AM at this time, and I had my 11:30 AM – 1 PM chem lecture. And another class at 2:30 PM.

First, panic. It said on the sheet that if it’s not approved by 4 PM today, that you fail the paper. Which pretty much means failing the course. What then? Might as well just drop out of college at that point. This is the second to last course in the major, and it’s only offered once a year. Same with the course after this one. It felt completely unfair. I’ve come so far, it’s not fair that something so stupid as forgetting a deadline could dash everything. Another year in county college, just to take a single course each semester, how emasculating.

Second, rationalize. Screw how long it takes. I recall how my dad shit bricks when I told him I wasn’t graduating this semester. Yeah, he’s nuts. I’m quite comfortable putting him in his place. And frankly, two courses? Even I can afford that.

Third, growl. Well, not externally. It’s like a fire that builds and eventually explodes in my mind to one massive

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I decided to go ask my prof for help. I pondered further. I had an hour and a half between classes. I’d fill it out as much as I could – THEN ask my prof for help. Coming with something is better than coming with nothing. I was reasonably distracted through my chem lecture.

Four, get angry and start cursing. I don’t think I curse much, but I recall looking over the approval form in lecture, and I was cursing so much that the girl next to me looked at me. I said, “Hi, I’m cursing loudly.” I headed to the Berry of Lies, where I spotted Victoria. I passed by her, hugged her from behind and whispered in her ear that I had to do a research paper proposal. I threw my bookbag on a table and studied the form to see what information I needed. Resources. And maybe the topic. I couldn’t remember the topic for some reason. We actually already did a preliminary approval form. Regardless, citing resources required a computer.

So I procurred one, and started cursing at the form. I don’t even remember why. I was just kind of going with it. Victoria gave me a look and asked if there was anything she could help me with. I replied no.

http://www.citationmachine.net is very helpful. I looked for a moment to see whether he wanted MLA or APA. Every paper I’ve ever done has been in MLA. He wanted APA. I believe I said to that, “Motherfucker.”

I had to write a small blurb on why I picked the topic. I wrote rather honestly that I’m curious about proper levels of protein intake.

And then I got to the outline, and was stumped. Outlines? I have never, ever really understood how you’re supposed to write an outline before you write a paper. Roughly, there’s an introduction, and a conclusion. In the middle, there’s generally three major topics, and for each you have your supporting facts and then the conclusions you draw. And the conclusion takes all three into consideration and brings it together. Something like that. But the actual specific organization typically doesn’t come together until I write the paper. I have never, ever outlined any of my entries. I have a mental idea of where I want to go, but if i were to outline, man, no way, what I end up writing will be completely different.

So I said, “Fuck it. It won’t be good at all, it will be far from good. It will be flawed, and it’s better than nothing.” So I looked at his suggested “outline” for the paper and nearly copied it. Whatever. I figure he’s more concerned with us having proper resources. My two resources are out of the Journal of Nutrition, which is a good source.

I managed to tear through this in a half hour. So I figured I could haul ass to his office, talk to him, and do anything I could in the following half hour to fix it. The next half hour would be for eating.

He ended up not being in his office, and I broke a sweat walking back up from Lot 3, having procurred my sandwich. I went back to the Berry of Lies to find Victoria in the same spot. She said she actually got up, but the same computer was still open when she returned. I explained my situation.

She thanked me for being affectionate. I thought I was always affectionate. Apparently she needed it today, so I went into a lunge and cuddled her. She shared why she needed it, and I listened. She said she felt whiny, and I told her to just be whiny and not fight it. I was vaguely aware of the time, but I had enough time to close my eyes and hold her. As if the library wasn’t there. :: smiles :: I like moments like that. She also said she’s glad she met me. The feeling is mutual.

I alerted her to the time, as we both have classes at 2:30. I was halfway down the steps when Liz got my attention. Man, she has a thing for bad timing, always catching me when one of us is on the go. I went to my prof’s office, and he still wasn’t there. So, as he’s told us to do, I slid the approval form under his door. I went to the cafetera and ate my sandwich as fast as I could, and headed to my chem lab. Only a few minutes late, no big deal. Today we used timers to see how long things would turn blue. Basic concept of how different variables effect reaction times. :: twirls finger ::

Lab went quicker than usual, and I noted the time. Five minutes prior to when Victoria’s class would get out. I skipped to her classroom, where I saw her prof leaving the classroom. He said I just missed her. So I ran back upstairs, feeling what direction she would have gone. And off in the distance, I spotted her. So I ran and caught up with her.

Damn, I’m good.

I walked her to her car and TimmyHugged her. Well, not before her snarling like a dog as I patted her head. I forget what exactly lead up to that, but it was amusing.

She thanked me for being here today. I reminded her that I do care about her.

*sniffsniff* Her scent always lingers on me. Hey, I’m not complaining. I asked her twice today whether I smelled bad at all. Hey, I broke a sweat, I was curious how powerful my MANSTINK is. She said I was fine.

I think I’m due to make chicken tonight. Time is always against us.