Evening of 2-15-6

Not nearly as bummed as last night. Still, knowing I can do better. Humans can’t survive without human contact, and I’m lacking. I know this.

One time when I was watching TV, I remarked to myself, “Wow, every channel as humans on it.” It’s a terran-centric culture, eh?

I like milk. I’ll need to keep up my milk intake as weight training builds stronger bones. To anyone that thinks we shouldn’t drink cow milk I say simply: The day we can convince human women to bottle and sell their breastmilk, I’d be happy to switch from udder milk to breastmilk. Not a problem. Though. *drinks milk* I’m kind of used to this flavor of milk.

Eye exam went fine. I GOTO the same guy I’ve been seeing since I was eleven. I also intend to buy my glasses from the same people who have been selling Mom and I glasses for years. I can walk in there and they know who I am. I like my frames, but it’s always good policy to have a spare. My old-old glasses (from six/seven years ago) are too weak to be of any good.

Ummmm.

I’m still trying to eat more. At least today I was eating throughout the day. Typically I hit a wall where I’m simply not hungry. Small meals throughout the day are a good thing. *nods*

After Weight Training was “over”, I saw a guy doing bench presses without a spotter. He hit failure and the bar fell on him. Dumbass. I had my eye on him and went to his aid. Well, at least it wasn’t as bad as that story I heard about a guy doing front squats, lost control of the bar, and it smashed through his thighbone. Owwie.

I still don’t want to GOTO bed. The universal sign that something isn’t right. Raymond K. Hessel, put a gun to my head, I still don’t know what I want. I think it’s probably just asking the wrong questions. The symbol-meaning gap. As if I’m answering a different question.

It’s also that locus of control issue. I’m so terrified of being out of control.

I wasn’t even in the mood to write, but I figured I should anyway, for completeness. I hate going through my old journals and seeing days skipped. I wonder, “What happened that day?” Mundane or not, something is always happening.

It took a hot bath naked. Stingingly hot, very close to scalding. Just short, thankfully. : ) I love slowly sinking down into the tub, feeling that hot water creep over my body. Every time, I dip my bum into the water while holding my package up out of danger. Then once I gauge that it’s safe, I let my boys dunk in the water.

I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow. I haven’t felt particularly randy this evening, so I decided to remain chaste. I think that’s all I have to say.

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*reaches out and touches Timmy* There’s some contact for ya

RYN: I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you get out of the woods soon. You are an amazingly funny and cool person so I hope things get alot better for you soon. *hugs* Take care, okay?

Your “boys”. *Snicker*

RYN: Don’t mention it. *hugs* Well, as they say… “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel”. Your tunnel is just exceptionally long, which sucks but you will see a light at the end. *hugs* Not like a light of death but like a light of happiness. I hope things look up soon, always have faith.

Do you ever take hot baths clothed?! My daughter did that once, it was quite funny actually. PS I don’t drink milk. But, I do take 500 mg 3 times a day of calcium so I’m off the hook, right?

Calculate calories through web sites such as fitday.com but generally reading the labels on packets – it’s an estimate really and only my food intake. I’m not that obssessive that I do it to the gram – just an idea of how much I’m eating.

I feel the same way when I see skipped days on my old diary and wonder why I said nothing that day. I have often thought that I’m a bit neurotic to wonder such a thing. Seeing that you wonder it too… well I guess that doesn’t imply that I am not neurotic, only that other people could be a little kooky too. Hee? Yeah.