Emotional Response to Loud Noises.

I had an emotional realization during employment today, and I made a mental note to write it down. It was towards the end of my shift, and I shortly after noted how sleepy I was feeling. I was waiting for orders to hand out to drive-thru, and Webster yelled to come wrap the order. Just a grande meal, ten soft tacos.

This upset me at the time, and afterwards I was able to quickly understand why. Well, not why why, but I understand what happened at least. Webster was on the other side of line, not the drive-thru side, cranking out soft tacos by himself. He just wanted me to give him a hand, wrap them, and get them out. I felt like I was being criticized or scolded, though I cognitively knew it was nothing of the sort. He just needed a hand, and he needed to speak loudly enough to get my attention.

This quickly made me think about my reaction to loud noises in general. I really don’t like being talked to in a loud voice. In fact, if you use an authoritative, “I’m better than you, you better listen to me voice”, I won’t take you seriously at all. I pretty much do not listen to my dad at all when he uses that voice. If you’re looking for a link to my childhood, I can’t find it. At least, not in a specific way. I was never yelled at, as a child. THOUGH, I did very much fear parental disapproval. Someone speaking at a high volume could very well trigger something related to that in me.

It’s also a matter of self-awareness. I like knowing everything that’s going on around me. It seems to effect me emotionally if people say things to me and I don’t understand what they mean. I hate feeling confused. On a good day, I can take my awareness to the level where I can hear everybody in the store and parse out individual things. Like that time a couple Sundays ago when we were getting hammered. I had my hands full in drive-thru, but I managed to hear Aly say that she needed help. I had given her more receipt tape and I thought she knew how to put it in. Turns out she put it in backwards. There was literally nobody else that could have helped her, as line was backed up cranking out orders.

I’ve been to a single concert, and I remember it making me very uncomfortable. I think I don’t really like loud noises in general. Don’t know why.

Oh, and an amusing anecdote. Well. Hrm. Not sure which ones to share now.

Well. Yesterday, I go to pee at the end of my break, and I notice someone pooped in the urinal. I couldn’t help but laugh a little and cock my head at the dexterity required for that. I don’t know about anybody else, but I can’t poop without peeing. I believe we made Keith take care of it, as that is technically dining room’s responsibility. Ha ha. Nobody likes Keith.

So I take the headset back after my break today, and see how my drive-thru is looking. (Yes, I say “my” drive-thru. I get OCD about how I have certain things.) I see an iced coffee or something on the table, and I thought, “Damn customers asking us to throw things out again.” So I tossed it in the trash. A few minutes later, Nigel walks over. I believe today was his second day. He says,

“Hey, where’s my iced coffee?”

Ha ha. Man, that’s not the place you should keep your shit. If anybody else saw that in drive-thru, they would have chucked it, too. He whined for the rest of his shift, both saying that I owed him $2.50 (yeah right, buddy), and that there are too many customers. Ha ha. Ya weenie, you haven’t seen busy yet. I can tell Nigel’s going to be someone that’s going to want to get out of working whenever possible. On other hand, I had this guy Leo collecting for me today and yesterday. It’s added stress to cover the things he doesn’t know yet, but I think he’ll be good pretty soon. At least when I’m by myself, I always know where I am at all times.

Well, most of the time. Ha ha.

I shared the iced coffee anecdate with my Assistant GM, and he laughed. I figured he’d get a kick out of it, as he tends to throw out any random cups he sees around. There is a rule that you’re supposed to drink/eat in the back of the store. I just hope Nigel doesn’t continue to be whiny, or I’m going to wish that shit Anthony didn’t quit.

Oh well.

I hope that meat I left out this morning is defrosted by now. I want to make some manmeat. Burgers, that is.

Oh, and at random, here’s a picture of me from the other day. I felt like having my hoodie up. I’m “dark” and “mysterious”. Ha ha.