Easy Timmy and His Wiggling Bum, Part II

I saw Matrix 2: The Quest for More Money the other day. It was decent, for a high-budget film. I honestly have no complaints. I hope they have much more of Agent Smith. And I’m not just referring to his ability to copy and paste himself. *laughs* “But… there’s so many of me.” The way he says “Mister Anderson” is so… Oh come on, say it. “Mister Anderson…” Kind of reminds of Bill Lumbergh from Office Space. “Mister Anderson… Did you get the new cover sheet for the TPS reports?” Or that Dana Carvey skit where he’s talking about the OJ trial. “Mister Anderson… on the day you handled the bloody glove. Did you… shampoo your hair?” The entire movie reminded of that Star Trek TNG episode with Professor Morierty. However you spell it. You know, the one with a holodeck within a holodeck. *smiles* Messes with your mind. I really thought Agent Smith was going to help Jesus. I mean, Neo. (Come on, the movie was screaming references about Jesus.) Oh well, I know they can’t do the Matrix without Agent Smith. Agent Smith should go solo. Just him talking and getting his ass kicked.

..I’m sorry, I had the random urge to do that. LOOK AT MY BUM. Good thing I have the common decency not to show the rest of me. Wouldn’t want me flashing my boobies at everybody. *looks at his tiny boobies* They’re small. Like the way they should be. Well, okay, flashing everybody with my chest wouldn’t be a big deal. But a girl’s chest. Mmmmm.

I’ve been floating around http://www.ratemyboobies.com. *smiles* Yes, I’m a loser, I admit it. I admire the female form. *smiles* Whenever I see some that sag, I’m reminded of Hairbrush and smile. BIGGAYDAN’s probably wondering if she’ll kill me for sharing that. Hmm. Guess we’ll find out. If I don’t write in a few days, Hairbrush killed me by smothering me with her boobies. That’s the way to go.

Reminds me of Monty Python and The Meaning of Life. “This man is about to die. He will soon be dead.” *smiles* You see a guy running and being chased by a bunch of bare-chested girls. *giggles* Boobies bouncing rhythmically. As the narrator explains, the guy got to choose his manner of death. Smart man. I’d like to die while going down on a girl. *smiles* She orgasms, I’m trapped between her thighs. I’d be breathing her juices and drown. *laughs* Hey, if you’re going to die, that’s right up there with dying during sex. But dude, what about her? I mean. Let’s say you’re on top and you just die on her. How is she going to get you off her? At least if I’m going down on a girl, she can kick me away. “Ew, Timmy, please tell me you did NOT just die on me!”

Watch, I inadvertantly give myself a fear of dying during cunnilingus. “Hey, watch how tightly you squeeze my head with your thighs!”

Okay, I think everybody knows about my love of cunnilingus. I respect the authority of the Vagina. So. Everybody should understand what I’m saying when I say this: I’m easy. *laughs* I mean. I’m not a challenge at all. Beyond tolerating Timmy, I’m pretty much here for the taking. My problem is that I throw myself into relationships too fast. I’d have to say that the closest I’ve ever gotten to the way I’d want to get know a girl would be how I handled Skunkie. We got to know each other. We also had that touchy-feely period before kissing. Stupid shit like me putting my arm around her or cuddling or.. stuff. Touching her hand. Holding hands. I seem to have skipped that with Hairbrush. I’m sorry.

People consider me a very open person. I am. But, I am a bitch to get to know (as all people are), and it usually takes me a while to REALLY open up. What do I mean by “REALLY” open up? Um. There are degrees. I tend to be more open with strangers I meet online than with people I’ve talked to for a while. For one, my friends have heard all my stories before. There’s always the fear of, “Timmy, I know this.” I hate repeating myself. I hate repeating myself. Of course, friends are there when I need someone that actually knows me. Princess knows me more than I give her credit for. She’s the coolest catholic I know. She respects me, despite some of the stupid things I do. (Or so she lets me believe.) It means a LOT to have her respect, because her standards are so high.

I’m much more confident than I used to be. It’s scary. People on OD seem me as a super-confident person. Not really. Half the time, I’m just pretending to be confident. There isn’t much of a difference between confidence and pretending to be confidence. I guess the only difference is being comfortable with yourself. I’m much more comfortable with myself.

Anyway, I said that I’m very open. I think I need to work the mystery thing a bit more. And really, aren’t I naturally a mysterious person? *smiles* I imagine myself wearing a cloak, my hair being tossed when I turn. I can’t play all my cards at once. Whatever. Fact of the matter is that I’ve strayed from the way I want myself to be. I let myself GOTOO fast with Hairbrush. I got caught up in a fantasy. Live and learn. I don’t regret it. At least I’ll be more relaxed the next time I have cunnilingus.

Mary told me to mooch of my parents for a while. She also told me that I should be in no hurry to get married. Her husband was 31 when he married her. The way I see it, the older I get, the more valuable as a mate I become. *smirks* Of course, conversely, it’ll be harder to find a mate. Maybe. Well, I don’t feel like getting into the math of it.

I feel like looking at boobies.

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Those are some beautiful boobies. Oh my. I have them set as my desktop. I just want to lick them. Or snuggle against them. They look so soft.

And for those that are were thinking about it, I do not have a boner. I’m actually completely flaccid. Looking at girls doesn’t turn me on at all. I don’t think it ever really did. Now, erotica. That’s the stuff. CLAMPMEDOWNANDDOMINATE ME.

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Her entire body is sexy. Who says boobs need to be huge to be good? Ha. She’d look good with really really long hair. Or maybe I’m just reminded of Tina, the boobless wonder. Nah, she’s cute with short hair. Cute panties. I can see her lips. Both pairs. : P

Hmm. I’m wondering if I should put a cock up to appease the female audience. I mean, why in the world would a girl want to look at boobies unless she has lesbian tendencies? *smirks* Boobies are beautiful. Maybe I could put a cock up to make BIGGAYDAN happy.

Nah. I’ll wait for someone to go by on random and be randomly offended. Actually, I think that’s impossible. It’s just boobs. Who could be possibly offended by boobs, unless it’s at the top of the entry?

And I certainly hope my bum doesn’t offended anybody. If it does, you’re a Republican and should go get shot in Iraq.