Doctors Rally For SARS Rights.

(SEATTLE, WASHINGTON) Doctors all over the world came together yesterday to rally against the current campaign around the world to eliminate SARS.

“We tend to think that SARS is like a misunderstood child that accidentally burns down the house he lives in,” said Doctor Iben Smokinveed, “If you had a wayward child, you wouldn’t try to kill him. You’d try to reason with your child. Or at least pump him full of Ritalin.”

SARS is a virus speculated to have originated in China. It’s also rumored to have come from outer space. SARS remains the talk of the medical community, with hospitals all over the world given advice on how to combat SARS. Despite heart disease, cancer, and AIDS killing thousands a day, SARS has been making headlines around the world.

Doctor Smokinveed said yesterday at the massive rally, “Why is it that the Pope wants to protect the rights of a one-celled embryo, but absolutely no one ever wants to protect the rights of one-celled bacteria or viruses? From anti-bacterial soap to penicillin, we are taught from birth to fear any lifeform that is not human. Instead of simply killing SARS, we should learn how to co-exist with our microscopic friends.”

President George W. Bush responded to the rally by saying, “We will continue on our War on SARS, much in the same way we’ve gone about our War on Terrorism. SARS has no chance for survival. We will slaughter SARS just like we’ve slaughered those terrorists who threaten our Godly Nation. Have you ever think that SARS is a terrorist? Regardless, the opinions of the people don’t matter to this administration. I think they need a tax cut.”

Doctor Smokinveed said, later in the rally, “I will make it my life’s work to protect the rights of one-celled organisms, with SARS as the poster-child for all persecuted viruses and bacterium in the world. For if bacteria don’t have rights, what rights do we really have?”

Log in to write a note
June 1, 2003

:O)

June 1, 2003

Tee hee

giggle. RYN: I SAID NO COOKIES!

June 1, 2003

haha this should be circulated around Toronto newspapers to get people to lighten up around here!! good stuff 🙂

Actually, chief, I invented SARS, after a long night of mixing strange alcoholic beverages, I discovered a fabulous virus that keeps on giving. I am now working on a Diet Sars for all our anorexic lady friends. Whoo-ha!

June 5, 2003

Is everyone in Seattle on drugs?

I hope that Shawn doesn’t get SARS while he’s in India. I did tell you that he was in India, right?