Definitely one of those times I wish I could cry.

I’m bothered entirely too much by something I can’t change. Can it really be as simple as I know I’m missing something I was born with? Something which is evolutionary necessary? Hell, even if you believe in God, I doubt Big G would have created the foreskin just so we would lobe it off. Damn those jews.

I don’t see how it’s justifiable. Why was this done to me? Why? For some societial norm? That’s not good enough. If the foreskin is so horrible, I’d rather have made the decision myself. After all, then it would have been my choice.

Is it really something else that’s bothering me, but I express it in terms of this?

I can never bring it back. I can “restore”, but I’ll never have what I originally had. The ridged band. All those nerves. I am a defect. I am functionally incomplete. I was robbed of something important, and it’s kinda sad to me how some people can’t see that.

Why do I care what happens to other people in the first place? I don’t intend to go from hospital to hospital saving foreskins. What is it, every fifteen minutes a foreskin dies? Something like that. Plenty of guys are ignorant to what happened. And then you have the oddballs like myself. I blame it on a society that sells the mutilated penis over the natural one.

I’ve been accused – a couple times – of using the word “mutilated” incorrectly. I’m actually using it as it was meant to be used. Dictionary.com says:

    To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple.

    To disfigure by damaging irreparably: mutilate a statue. See Synonyms at batter.

    To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.

Circumcision removes the essential features of the foreskin – the gliding mechanism, protecting and keeping the glans moist. Such and such. I am disfigured beyond repair. I will always have that nasty scar. Such and such. And so I rant on.

Would I have done it anyway even if I was born with it? That seems irrelevant, as I would have had a choice. The comes the question of whether I would have regretted said decision. *laughs*

I don’t think parental responsibility extends into permenantly altering your baby’s body for cosmetic reasons. That’s parental disconduct. It disgusts me like the way parents pierce their infant girl’s ears. Or, more disturbingly, gender “reassignment.” It’s unnecessary. I’ll flesh this out on a later date.

I should just put it out of mind. I’m upsetting myself for no good reason. Definitely no writing about it for a few weeks.

*sighs again* Do we not have a right to our sexuality?

I considered making this no notes, as I’m quite upset. But, whatever. Fuck everybody.

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October 12, 2003

:::hugs:::: i just dont know what to say

October 12, 2003

it’s a great tragedy.

I’m sorry Timmy 🙁 However, on a lighter note, I ordered your panties today…It should take 7-14 days, or so they say. Sorry I took so long, I was sick earlier this week and had to study for a midterm….you understand right love?? Hope you feel better….smile….you have panties on the way 😀

Oh yeah, I’ll send the tracking info to you by email as soon as I get it k? And, I sent three pairs *giggles* Enjoy!!! I look forward to reading your future entry 😀

October 12, 2003

Wish there was something to make you feel better sweetie

ryn: I don’t see how you can make that claim without actually trying it first.

I’m sorry. My kid won’t his foresking chopped off. You have saved the foreskin of a future kid. My mom didn’t take me to get my ears pierced. She wouldn’t so I had my aunt do it. I was little, but it was my choice.

October 12, 2003

*hugs* {real hugs not fake od hugs} Geezamageeza let’s see. I knew I shouldn’t’ve gone to bed when you were still noting me. ryn: Oh, hands wander under clothes all the time…they just don’t come off…haha. And hands wander under clothes up north. not south yet. Your reason is the same reason I didn’t get my class ring. (c)

October 12, 2003

(c) I just think I’d feel pretentious wearing it, and I don’t wear rings anyways. I seem to be dependent on stress…wish I could be avoidant, like you. I have to stay busy. And finally, did you see Master of Disguise? in it, Carvey disguises himself as a turtle, and keeps saying “turtle turtle.” Funniest part of the movie.

I’m sorry. I hope people read these entries and see what it can do to a man to cut something from them when there’s no true reason to do it. <3

I think its time you spent some real quality time with your penis. Give back in spirit was what taken away in the flesh. I am sensitive to your plight.

October 12, 2003

somethingpositive.net in case you’ve not already had it called to your attention, you might be interested in today’s and yesterday’s. they made me think of you. be touched, be very touched. also, the featured girl is probably your soulmate, or something. too bad she’s a cartoon.

October 12, 2003

Dude, if I had a foreskin, I’d definitely donate it to you.

October 12, 2003

I’m not a male, I can’t say I understand…but I do believe I can at least sympathize. I’d already heard about the aesthetic purposes of circumsision and gender reassignment from sexuality class. I wrote a paper on FGM. Even though at this point I don’t want children, you’ve made outstanding points. My son will be able to choose. Take care Timmy.

thaynk yoo it iz kwite a skill eye have iznt it? eye thaynk yoo foor the complimint. 🙂

October 12, 2003

Holy Llama. That’s awful. Dude. I would KILL whoever did that to me. What a load of bunk. I feel your pain. Well, no. I don’t. But if I were a guy I’d be right along there with you. But I’m a girl. And hey, you’ve still got pretty girls to look at, right? And you have no worries because you can’t get them pregnant. You might even have a meaningful relationship w/out sex. Good luck dude.

October 12, 2003

we are all obsessed with stuff we can’t change…at least you can make a difference with yours. Haven’t had a tuggy update, how is it goin?

October 12, 2003

RYN: Maybe I’m totally uneducated (and that’s TOTALLY possible), but doesn’t it make it a little bit harder to have kids or something?

Dude, do you have any idea how many sports bras it takes for me to keep my DD’s from bouncing?? Run naked? OUCH! <3

October 12, 2003

RYN:Thank you, Timmy, for your total anatomical comprehension and discussion of circumcision with the class. I’ll make sure I have a clue as to what I’m talking ’bout next time. Holy Mother, let there NEVER be a next time.

October 12, 2003

makes me glad to be a woman. lol… sorry your foreskin was mutilated. i vow to never do it if i have a boy. just for this reason.

October 12, 2003

Ooh, I think I’d be weird about it if my brother were to decide to have naked time, mostly since I’ve never known him to relish being naked. I think I’d be anzwhere but where he was, in that case. Up ’til today, my parents didn’t know if I slept naked. . . Dunno if you read the last entry you noted on, but my mom called me on it. Strange to have that little pseudo-secret found out.

October 12, 2003

I knew I wanted to say something else in response to your note. . . My brother and I are really free with each other, too. My boyfriend finds it strange that my bro and I can and do talk about our sex lives together. What? You mean I shouldn’t tell my brother that I’m not a virgin? Right. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s free with my sib. Older or younger sister? Is it just the two of you?

ryn: The thigh is ok, I clean up nicely *wink*

*laughs* A Timmy category eh? For you, only one kick. <3

I wondered about that when I read the topic for this week. I’ve never personally gotten into it with him but he seems to take things to a personal level instead of just a straight honest debate. <3

October 12, 2003

RYN: 🙂 yes… but i have yet to see er… solid (hehe) proof either one is the “healthy choice” that’s all. ~M.

You worry me sometimes. <3

ryn: Yes, I definitely shave, or you’re right….it would get messy 😀

October 12, 2003

ryn: I will admit I found that bulge…intriguing. 😉 Not all of Master of Disguise is good, but parts of it are. It’s mostly the odd one-liner that made me laugh. turtle, turtle

October 12, 2003

ryn: So do we. This fall break is in the middle of October. Then we get 2 days off for Thanksgiving. 🙂

October 12, 2003

mahaha, another convert to something positive. i can die a happy man now. well, once i become a man that is.

October 12, 2003

I don’t know what it’s like to have been circumsized at birth, but I do agree with you about letting the male decide whether to keep it or not when he’s older. And you may not be saving the world from infantile circumsizion, but every pregnant person that will read this and is having a boy will probably be persuaded to think about circumsizion, and hopefully will be against it.

October 12, 2003

this is always such a hot topic here, especially with the mommy circles… i used to be pro-circ because of my personal preferences, but after reading this, i don’t know… i wish i could bring it back for you… i think we all do. *hugs*

October 12, 2003

RTN: oh, it could very well have been more. i’m really crappy with measurements 🙂

October 12, 2003

Me ex-roomie said she would never date a guy that wasn’t cut. I think that’s so stupid… It’s different but that doesn’t make it bad. As for me, I could care less whether a guy is cut or not. There are so many more important things than that. I’ve never been with a guy who wasn’t but if I was, I’d be just fine. And I’m not sure what I would do if I had sons… (C)

October 12, 2003

I think I’d have to discuss it with their father… But I really think that it’s a decision that should be made later in life, if the boy/man wants to make that decision. It is really unfortunate that most parents make that decision for their kids… Oh, and RYN: I try 😉

October 12, 2003

Thanks for the visit, BVD. Circumcision is on the way out if more victims like you come out openly against it. Old ways are hard to change, though. There was a good reason for not eating pork before trichnosis was understood and the danger eliminated, but there’s no reason for a ban on it now.

October 13, 2003

Hugs do always say enough. They’re the fitting thing between no knowing what to say, and having everything to say but you dont know where to start.

RYN: stroke on, gland warrior, stroke on I say!!.

We shall all mourn the loss of your foreskin! Thanks for the note by the way – I’m afraid there I got the last t-shirt from the shop – I would buy you one otherwise … ur getting panties though I see!! Almost completely clothed … if u had my t-shirt!

October 13, 2003

Hmmm. I talked to my husband about it. I said, “There is no way we are circumcizing our children.” He saw the logic, and agreed. I don’t think I would have married a man who would mutilate babies.

Sorry for your loss… Maybe channeling you energies someplace else would help you keep your mind occupied 🙂

RYN to my note…yes it is a matter of hygiene! Every man I’ve ever been with who wasn’t cut (all two of them) had cleanliness issues. GROSS

RYN: Hey, I have a devoted cult member fan who made the interest topic without my imput, so no blaming me now. <3

Fortunately, I am “uncut”. but I always thought I was different in school because of it.

*does a happy dance* I have more members! *shakes her boobies* <3

October 13, 2003

I feel so bad now. I had my son circumsized. I didn’t care, really, Greg was all for getting him circumsized. I didn’t want him to hurt though. I wasn’t there when they had it done 🙁

*points to the next entry* Oh, Timmy…..you crack me up, so much!! You make me laugh and smile. 🙂

October 13, 2003

man, I hope you get an interest. I created a Timmy one (hey, how else will I pay you back for such devoted attention to my undies?). I bet 1,000 other people did too. *waits to be approved*

People have a hard time accepting that maybe parents shouldn’t have ultimate control over their kids. Yeah, I can see how you would view circumcision as barbaric. It’s easier to write it off as “just something you do” until we hear this point of view. *hug*

And hey, what about my fan club? No fair. Nobody loves me. 😛

October 13, 2003

I just read a rant about how society thinks everyone has to be thin, and so people end up with eating disorders. Maybe society likes the false more than the true. Artificial flavoring, altered bodies. It’s sad, really.

i don’t mind that my mother pierced my ears. cause i don’t HAVE to wear earrings. but my minor is gender studies, so of course i get where u’re coming from. i think u should have had a choice.

RYN: Wha? Yeah, I know I could have had an extra $3 and change, but I’m too damn lazy for all that. I’m Jewish enough to want someone else to do the work for me. *smiles* <3

Okay, re-read it and now I think I understand. You were speaking Geek, sorry. *snikkers* J/K, but I had no idea what the hell Dragon Quest 6 was. And believe me, Terry has no reason to worry about penis size. *smiles innocently* <3

October 13, 2003

ryn: Umm…how is PowerPoint dumbing down America? It’s a way of making presentations. Instead of writing on a blackboard, or using one of those big notepad things (I can’t remember what they’re called), you do it on the computer. It’s better than making 50 copies of something and killing a few more trees.

October 13, 2003

*smiles and nods* 🙂

October 13, 2003

When we read about FGM in my Feminism and Philosophy class, I asked, “But don’t we do the same thing to boys *here*?” The girls in my class were scandalized. “But that’s… different!” “How is it different?” “It just… IS!” Yeah, it’s different because we do it, and we’re the ‘civilized’ country, so it must be okay.

October 13, 2003

I just wanted you to know that I speak out against involuntary circumcision whenever I get the chance, and that I would NEVER have any son of mine circumcised. And I think it’s horrible that you should have to go through this.

I saw a show on PBS about this a couple of years ago. A bunch of total losers were complaining about how everything that went wrong in their life was the result of circumcision. I’m not buying it. I suspect they were losers. It’s just a hunk of skin off your dick. You run the risk of losing the whole damn thing when you let someone put it in their mouth. It ain’t that big a deal.

October 14, 2003

ryn: Yep, I didn’t want to be there for the cut. I felt really bad because I know it would have hurt. Fuck, I had my son 6 weeks early, and I couldn’t even stick around to watch them put the tube in his nose… I cried. Yeah, I am a big baby. Oh, and the urge? Both. 😉 and that’s honestly.