Damage Report for 1-18-11

So, yesterday was NOT fun at all. The last time I was that physically sick, nauseous, and otherwise vomiting on a regular basis was about ten years ago, December 2000. You don’t forget the day you vomit a record six times. Yesterday, I vomited a mere five times. OH WONDERFUL, isn’t it?

Why is it the only time I’m able to really enjoy my time in bed is if I’m sick? If I’m healthy and I lay in bed in the middle of the day or go to bed early, I don’t feel all that comfortable. If I’m sick? CURL INTO A BALL AND DIE.

After the first personal protein spill, I thought, “Hrm, well, that is that.” You know, get it out of your system and go back to normal. After the second, I realized, “Oh crap. This is for the long haul.” So I’d vomit until I was dry heaving. Wonderful feeling isn’t it? Then I had some water. Not TOO much, but enough so that I’d get some fluids in me, and to dilute the next wave so the stomach acid wouldn’t destroy my esophagus.

It’s like my body was in complete digestive shutdown. I say that because I didn’t feel better until the fifth vomit, after which I also #2ed. Figured, “Hrm, well, now my digestive tract is COMPLETELY CLEAR.”

Had some water and waited. I pretty much napped most of the day. I laid in bed feeling a combination of being thirsty, hungry, and a lingering discomfort in my stomach. However, the nausea had otherwise gone away. After the fact, I realized my first meal was probably too acidic for my tender tummy. I thought, “Pineapple chunks are high in carbs, fiber, and will taste fucking good.” They did taste fucking good. And caused stabby-stabby pains. Cue another nap.

I munched on some rice krispies and sipped on some berry juice. (Which I realized after the fact, was also probably too acidic.)

I even slept the entire night without issue. MMM, SLEEP.

Today was supposed to be the first class of the semester. I recall a semester that’s long since passed, I missed the first day of class with a fever. As a result, I felt like I got off on the wrong foot, and seemed to miss some critical two-second information imparted. I was determined to show up.

There was a snowstorm last night. Actually, a slushstorm. Snow turned to freezing rain. I checked the school website in the morning. Said classes would start at 11:30. So I didn’t need to worry about my 8:30. Ate a small breakfast, a toaster struddel. My tummy felt okay, though I still felt drained. I think I went back to bed until around 11. Website still said classes would start at 11:30.

So, around noon I ventured outside and had to use my scrapper like a pick-axe on my car. Poor Clarissa was like a block of ice. Drove to campus. Passing the first thought, I saw no cars. I thought, “Awesome, great parking.” Followed promptly by “OH CRAP.”

I parked and texted the girl, asking her to check the website. Campus closed for the day. Wonderful. I think we’ve all done this.

Stopped by Panera on the way back. Among my standbys when I’m sick is a cup of cream of chicken and wild rice. It tasted so good, in part because of how food-deprived I was, that I nearly ate too fast. I had to remind myself to chew slow and thoroughly.

Came home and took another nap.

Woke up and didn’t feel like death. My first priority was hydration. I’d had nothing but bright yellow pee since yesterday. An hour later, I peed clear. WOOHOO! Had some more water.

Decided to fulfill one of my weekly wants by installing Star Wars: Battlefront. Ah, takes me back about six years. Somewhere in there, I ate a chicken pot pie. So glad I keep them stocked in the freezer. Noticed some apple jews in the pantry and said, “Hey, my tummy might like that!” Played some more.

As for right now? I have a major craving for chips and salsa. For another day. I’m munching on some cheesy poofs. (How healthy, ha ha. Next best thing to full-blown dairy binge-ing.) And I believe I heard the ding for the little oven go off, tossed some leftover pizza hut pasta in there. I’m so goddamned hungry, I HAVE to eat before going to bed.

(Also, I don’t know if it’s related or not, but I’ve been really itchy since Sunday.)