Cycle of Online Friendships.

I think I’ve come across a number of people in my travels online. Well, ventures online? As much of an online person I am, I’ve only been meeting people online for the past three years. Still, it didn’t take long for me to notice certain patterns.

We meet, one way or another. More often than not, I can judge from the first conversation how much potential a person has. Of course, there are times when I have an average first conversation, and I end up having great conversations later. Or having a great conversation and then having not talking much after that.

There’s the excitment phase, we feel new to each other and have a lot to learn about each other. I can tell stories that I’ve told other people a million times, rehashing old things and seeing them in a new light for this person. The phase where you aren’t really sure how long you’re going to be talking to someone.

The excitment phase can overlap the comfort phase. The phase where we know more about each other. Where I ask about specific things in this person’s life, because we actually know what’s going on in each other’s life. Eventually, the excitment fades and by that point the person is undoubtedly consider some form of online friend. IMs may not be as frequent as they first were, but they are regular. I won’t need to explain basic things like Angel to the person, as she’ll already know. (I say she, because 95% of my online contacts are female.)

At some indefinite point, the friendship will peak, at least a first time. Then it will move into the resolution stage. IMs aren’t as frequent as they used to be, even though we still like talking to each other. What happens here really determines the friendship. It will either die, whether it be slowly or quickly (assuming it hasn’t already), OR, it may go up and down. We know that we can talk to each other if we have a problem. But, as far as casual conversation goes, it’s not really there. Maybe we’ll check up on each other every now and then.

It’s kind of sad to me. People come and go. I try to absorb their personality, if only a little bit. As it stands, Miami is my longest online friend, clocking in at over two years. We have met in person, which is an edge. But. It’s slowly dying. I feel it, and it makes me sad. I know we’ll talk here and there, like we have. But what is friendship when you talk once a month?

Whenever someone new IMs me, I can’t help but wonder, “How will you leave me?” Despite their seemingly futile nature, I don’t shy away from befriending people online. While I can meet people online that I would never have met in person, I tend to believe that people online are basically the same as people in person. And vice versa. It’s just easier to get personal online. Princess and Kivudet are my only real friends. Real, as in, I know they’re going to be somewhere in my life one, two, five years from now. And if they’re not, I’ll be real surprised. Online people can’t replace them, but they’re still fun to have around.

Nitrojane

*head explodes*

well, i thought it was better than the generic first note dance, personally.

and ryn, i’m not saying that I’M ugly, i’m just saying that the picture i took there is ugly. because, well, it is. i mean, the colour of the room firstly, as well as all the stupid certificates my stepdad received at agricultural school, doesn’t exactly make a great picture, you know? but i just love the expression on my face, because it sums me up nicely.

And breasts like you, or you’re like breasts, I don’t know which.

laerima

September 1, 2003

i think the whole cycle got too depressing for me.. i find OD friendships tend to last longer, so they aren’t as much of a downer at times. hugs,

Refugee Virtuoso

All of my online friendships are on OD, and I think it probably does make a difference. You met them by reading about their daily life, and you still do it after you become buddies. I like that aspect, and it certainly makes it easier to mantain a friendship over the miles. Really interesting entry 🙂

darlingnikki

That’s a really astute observation. My online friendships have followed a similar pattern. It’s sad how transitory everything is.

FallingDog

No, that’s not what it means, Diddly Boy. Take a course in the history of labor unions in America or just a course in Economics. Then you’ll know what an unemployment rate really means.

Evil Peanut

I’m with C’est Cheese…I really only have online friends from OD or Xanga.

Everybody leaves sooner or later…..online or not. 🙁 ryn: thanks for the TimmyHug. I really needed that. I appreciate it. 🙂

Wow….my note was really depressing. 🙁 Sorry.

I think you need one of those infamous Timmyhugs!!!! It’s ironic though….I’ve made alot of so called friendships over the years and the ones that survived I thought never would, crazy.

I only have one online friend. We hardly ever talk anymore either. I’ve only got like 12 people on my buddy list and I know all of them in real life. You know what I think is interesting. My dad and my brother have Everquest friends. It’s kind of like the online friend, but they don’t get as personal.

ryn: Very true story, I never thought of it like that. But I still think I’ve just found some unfortunate guys, period. *sighs*

*hug*

You know, you were the only one who “got it”.

You do too have friends.

Oh – me too then. I have a lot of friends from home but I know absolutely nobody up here. *tear* 😛

hehehe….just what I needed….boxes of spiral mac & cheese! Thank you. It did make me laugh when I loaded my notes page and found pics of that up there. 🙂

RYN: I did kind of the same thing in high school. I only hung out with my BEST friend and now I hang out with a lot of people. It’s nice…it makes me think I should get out more on campus…but it’s HARD! I am not a person to just walk up to somebody and start a conversation. *shakes head* at least I’m not the only one 😀

Oooh…naked Timmy time 😛

You have some odd names for people.

Maybe every OD girl does want in your pants. But really, the only boy I am thinking of being in mine is Mark. So I guess that’d make it every OD girl – 1 😛

Kelly

I told you every OD girl wants in your pants. Didn’t I tell you?

ryn, Certainement, mon ami. Only the most shallow and obvious forms of satire are appreciated here, as you well know.

Hmmmm…cycle of lives.

We should talk again some time. It would be interesting. AIM – doomzoomer oh BTW I have people who arent on my buddy list blocked, and I lost your screen name..so..umm..leave it in a note!