Comfort.

I’m single. I think it’s still hitting me. Not necessarily good or bad, but after you’ve been dating someone for two and a half years, it’s really weird to realize that you’re single again.

I knew that breaking up had to be consensual for it to work. “Work” as in minimize the amount of post-break-up uncomfortableness. A simple cut-and-run leaves one person… hurt. This basically makes it very difficult to maintain normal relations. I’ve known that as much as I knew in my heart that a break-up was coming down the road, I knew it had to come from her. It had to be her recognizing, really accepting that something wasn’t right.

And, of course, it’s not like there wasn’t that voice in the back of my head wondering I was giving up the best thing to ever happen to me. You don’t stay with someone for this long who is a piece of crap. At least, I HOPE people don’t. Even if you’re married ten years and something goes sour, at some point, through most of the relationship, I’d hope you were happy. There’s a little joke I like to make regarding a friend of Candi’s. In the time we’ve dated, a friend of hers met someone, dated, got married, had a kid, and then had a divorce. At least, I think it’s funny.

But it’s a sense of relief to know I’ve made it to the other side. I really feel we’ve found a resolution. I really feel we’ve broken up and will genuinely remain friends. I was afraid she might resent me. I was afraid she might be heartbroken. Or she’d just be plain hurt.

On the contrary, when I saw her today, she seemed better than I expected. She said she still has her moments, much like I do. Otherwise, she’s.. good. That makes me happy. I want her to be happy. A little faster than I expected for only a week, but whatever. We watched Star Trek and it didn’t feel awkward at all.

As for me, I’m still thinking a lot about my positives and negatives. I don’t intend to be on any aggressive search for females, but I do know that I bumped into Candi by complete accident. Just need to keep my body bumping.

On a completely unrelated note, I like this song:

Back when metal videos were worth watching. I need to listen to more Anthrax and Slayer. I’m such a metal hippie.