Choices To Be Made, Part I

Status Report

Wearing: Alice in Chains t-shirt, the one with the Mona Lisa as the Ace of Spades. Gray boxers, black jeans, white socks, black slippers. And my tuggy. And I see to have put a red blanket over my head. Makes me feel like a refugee. Ha ha. Reminds me of the refugee blanket in The Van. I digress.

WinAmp is Playing: Bruce Lee – Underworld (of my entire music collection on random repeat)

Last ate: Corn flakes? Weird how I actually bother to eat breakfast before my first period.

Last round of masturbation: Last night.

Entry Start Time: 10:17 AM

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

I asked Angie a serious question last night.

Timmy: I put a major life decision in your hands.
Timmy:
Timmy: Should I bother writing tonight?
Verucassault1: Hee.
Verucassault1: No, you shouldn’t.

So I went to bed shortly after midnight. Sleeeeep. I think part of my problem with falling asleep is that I give up too easily, sometimes. I rolled over maybe four or five times before falling asleep last night. I woke up before the sun was up. I felt tired. “Why am I awake?” I checked my watch. Just before six AM. I still had until 7 AM to sleep. I curled under the sheets and dozed off again.

If I was about twenty seconds earlier, I would have made that bus that was leaving the bus stop as I got there. Isn’t it always like that? I have a rule, I do NOT run to the bus stop. Fuck it, it’s only five or ten minutes. It’s not the only bus in the entire world.

The professor in my first period kept saying that the material was important or something. I looked at the notation and said to myself, “This means nothing to me.” He was taking averages of things. I said to myself, “Taking the average of values of dice and finding a value of 3.5 doesn’t tell you anything important. The values themselves don’t mean anything, and so the average doesn’t mean anything.” Bleh. Pity I’m not argumentative early in the morning.

So while he went on and on, I found myself debating the question of how we can know anything. That and how we know things are real. I haven’t fleshed out what my favored opinion is.

I considered this desk right in front of me. How do I know the desk in front of me is the same one that was here when I left for class? Perhaps I should try for an easy answer. Because it’s simply implausable that any outside force would replace the desk with an identical desk and place everything on top of the desk exactly as they were.

Let’s suppose we could create exact replicas of objects. Maybe a replicator. So exact that there no difference between the “original” and the replica. Copy everything in this room. Replace it with the replicas. Has anything changed? It’s the same objects. I wouldn’t know the difference unless I simply knew somebody replaced them. The only difference would be the psychological notion of things being “replaced” and, “Dude, stop switching my shit.”

Psychological. There is the notion that if you believe something exists, then it exists. At least, to you. If you believe God exists, then you create God, regardless of whether God actually “exists” or not. Since it exists to you, you’ll use it to explain away the world. To be fair, the same principal can be used with evolution. It’s simply a matter of perspective how you see the world. If you believe invisible pink bunnies (which only you can see) exist, then to you, they exist.

Ha ha. This is why I want to take Phenomenology and Existentialism next semester.