BIGGAYDAN Strikes Back, Part IV: The Big Game
A chilly fall evening. Your average High School football field. Your average football crowd. Your average football announcer.
“Hi folks, I’d like to welcome everybody to the game where our team is going to take on our cross-town rivals. Us versus them. Also, I’d like to wish luck to the four teens who are trying to not get killed by BIGGAYDAN. You kids have fun, now!”
Kivudet, General Disk Error, TRENTS+EIN, and Martino found themselves sitting next to each other in the stands. They looked at each other and acknowledged that nobody was missing. Yet. Kivudet chuckled, “Timmy hated football…”
A naked girl walking up the stairs noticed Martino. “OH MY GOD, MARTINO! FUCK MEEE!!”
Martino stood up and bolted in the other direction. “Uh, sorry guys, I gotta run!” A herd of naked girls randomly appeared and ran after him, with their boobies bouncing with each step. Kivudet chuckled to himself how Timmy would have enjoyed such a sight.
With Martino out of sight, General Disk Error took a deep breath. “So. I’m going to die.”
Kivudet smirked, “Yes. Yes, you are.” He sarcastically patted him on the back. “Anybody see BIGGAYDAN?”
They didn’t see BIGGAYDAN, but he was right in front of them. No, not the seat in front of them. In the game. Playing for Our Hometown Heros. The name on the back of his uniform even said “BIGGAYDAN”. He spotted the three youths sitting in the stands. He felt a pain in his chest and clenched his fist. Die.. Timmy… scum…
While General Disk Error looked furiously around him for signs of assassination, Kivudet flagged down a guy selling hot dogs. The General looked at him, annoyed. “How can you think of food at a time like this?”
“Hey, if I’m going down, I’m going down on a full stomach. Want me to get you anything?”
“No, thanks…”
TRENTS+EIN addressed the wandering vendor. “Hey, do you have any really big blocks of cheese?” The vendor paused for a moment, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic-wrapped block of cheese. TRENTS+EIN shook his head, “I was just asking if you had any, I never said I wanted any.” Humiliated, the vendor walked off.
TRENTS+EIN paused for a moment, then spoke, “There’s still something I don’t get. Why’d he kill The Jew? He’s not all that Timmyish.”
The General answered, “I don’t know, Timmy looks pretty Jewish, sometimes.”
“Aye.” Kivudet agreed.
The General looked around himself, uncomfortably. “We should keep a lookout for him. If we can see him, he can’t ki..”
Unfortunately, at that moment, a football gored right through the General, splaying his midsection and smashing through his spine. Naturally, this caused his head to explode, raining brains on everybody within a ten seat radius.
The announcer boomed, “That has to be the worst pass I’ve ever seen. Ever.” While TRENTS+EIN looked at the gapping hole in the General’s corpse and his missing cranium, Kivudet bothered to look down on the field. He spotted BIGGAYDAN, foaming at the mouth. BIGGAYDAN saw Kivudet looking at him, and flipped him off.
Martino wandered back, with tattered clothes and messed up hair. “God damn, guys, you wouldn’t believe it if.. Holy shit, he’s dead!”