BIGGAYDAN Enters THEREPUBLICANMATRIX, Part IV

“BIGGAYDAN? It’s your mother.”

Oh good. It’s just mom… BIGGAYDAN got some clothes on and openned the door. Behind his mom were three white christian males in black suits and black sunglasses.

One of them spoke, “Mister Anderson, we have a warrent for your.. arrest.”

BIGGAYDAN remembered Timmy’s warning. He could run. Oh, he could run, what with those orgasmic runs he loves to go on. Freedom of bipedal motion? He slowly walked out of his room. The man who spoke previously put his arm around BIGGAYDAN. “We need to ask you… some questions, Mister Anderson. Come quietly, and we won’t have to revoke your freedom of… bipedal motion.”

Crap. I should have taken the DOUBLEDONGOFJUSTICE.

BIGGAYDAN was taken to a rather average looking police station. Until he was taken into a white room for questioning. He sat in a cold metal fold-up chair, while the white man sat in a rather comfy black leather chair. He openned a drawer and brought out a rather thick folder. He closed the drawer and addressed BIGGAYDAN.

“I am Republican… Smith, Mister Anderson. We have been following you for quite some… time now. It seems you have commited a number of illegal acts of… sodomy. Many, Mister Anderson. Under the Three Anal Insertion Strikes law, you should have been dead a long time ago.”

BIGGAYDAN fidgeted and looked away at the white wall. Somehow, Timmy’s life of sodomy seemed a lot more fun than this.

“…Mister Anderson, we are willing to wipe clean the… slate, so to speak… if you… help us. Mister Anderson.”

BIGGAYDAN looked at Republican Smith. “What do you want from me?”

“We believe you have already been contacted by one of… them. You know who we’re talking about.”

Timmy’s offer was looking very good right now. He hated his little games, but this seemed rather serious.

“If I knew such people, what would you do with them?”

“That is none of your… concern, Mister Anderson. You lead two lives, Mister Anderson. One of them has a future, one of them does not.”

BIGGAYDAN blinked. “My last name isn’t Anderson.”

“It is, in THEREPUBLICANMATRIX, Mister Anderson. You voted us into office, and now we decide everything. I’ve decided your name is Mister Anderson. So that is what I shall… call you.”

BIGGAYDAN stood up. “I know my rights, I can vote you out of office.”

Republican Smith smiled evilly. “Tell me, Mister Anderson. What good is a vote… if nobody counts it?”

BIGGAYDAN’S expression changed from confidence to fear. Republican Smith openned another drawer and brought out a bucket. He dumped out the bucket, spreading cards with holes on the table.

“There was a… difference of opinion in the last election. The dissident disagreed with what we wanted them to believe. We do not need consent, Mister Anderson, we can… manufacture it. We do not need consent from you to make you do what we… want you to do.”

“You can’t make me do anything.”

“It is easier than you… think, Mister Anderson. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country. You are being attacked, Mister Anderson.”

“Oh, and what is attacking me, other than you?”

“High taxes, Mister Anderson.”

“Excuse me?”

“You need a tax cut, Mister Anderson.”

“I don’t need a tax cut.”

“Oh, but you do, Mister Anderson.”

“How can you give a tax cut to someone that doesn’t pay taxes?”

“The same way you give the power to vote to someone who doesn’t vote at all. You will cede, Mister Anderson. You will crumble. You will see how rich and powerful us Republicans are. And in that moment of weakness, you will come crawling back to us, begging us for a tax cut. Vote Republican, Mister Anderson. You want a tax cut, Mister Anderson.”

“I DON’T WANT A TAX CUT, I WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“What you want is irrelevant, Mister Anderson, what you’ve choosen is at hand. You have chosen a lifestyle of deviance, and for this, you must either… help us or… we shall deem you a terrorist and eliminate you.”

BIGGAYDAN is running, but he doesn’t know where. Following him is a hoard of BIGGAYMEN. There seem to be millions of them. He stops. Off in the distance, he sees more BIGGAYMEN coming his way. They’re all naked, and fully aroused, with GIANTMANCOCKS that can compete with BIGGAYDAN’S own. BIGGAYDAN is naked, too, but he doesn’t know why.
They’re closing on him. Few seconds, and the hoards of BIGGAYMEN and their GIANTMANCOCKS will be on BIGGAYDAN’s TIGHTPINKANUS. He clenched his TIGHTPINKANUS instinctively. The jig was up. He was completely outnumbered. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to do it. He scanned the scene of naked men one more time.

Openning his mouth, he let out a battle cry, “I AM A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL! I am Big. I am Gay. I am obviously Dan. I am… BIGGAYDAN!”

BIGGAYDAN wakes up, sweating profusely. He had that dream again. The one where he declares his gayness. He caught himself sooner, this time. Oh crap, this is the second time I’ve woken up like this. Well, after the first time. He quickly glanced over at the clock. Four AM.

He jumped up out of bed and went to his computer screen. Right on time, GIANTMANCOCKS appeared. He shook the mouse.

“Good morning, BIGGAYDAN.”

“Timmy, some Republicans interrogated me.”

“I warned you. Don’t wait for signs. Hurry here. Timmy loves you.”

BIGGAYDAN tried writing a reply, but the screen went dead. He quickly got dressed, for the third time. He went out the door of his room right as his mom was about to knock.

“Honey, there’s a couple at the door for you.”

“I know, mom. We’re going to a sex shop so I can meet with Timmy the Enchanter. I’m not choosing the pink butt plug this time. The Republicans are after me.”

Part V