Back to Basics.

I’ve been itching to have something in my ass. I must say, anal play is much more.. fulfilling with a partner. I’ll admit it. But at least I’m able to take care of myself without worrying about whether a partner is into it or not.

Cliff told me recently about this new restaurant he and Erik had discovered. Peppers. It sells Chinese and Tex-Mex. You read that correctly. Erik said he’d laugh his ass off if it was run by a Chinese and a Mexican. …It is. The food is cheap, the portions are big, and it’s edible. I’m sold.

What’s nice about Cliff is that I can talk about things at my own pace. I never feel any pressure to share myself or any of that shit. *smirks* We can sit around playing video games or a mindless movie. And then I’ll be randomly reminded of Paige and then we talk about it. But, again, no pressure.

My professional opinion of his computer is that it is totally fucked. It won’t even boot past the BIOS. It will claim the keyboard isn’t found, then make DOS noises if you hit any keys. The only thing scrapable about that computer is his video card. Even though it’s three years old, his 128 meg ATI Rage is still a pretty good card. He has 512 RAM, but it’s of the 133 Mhz variety. RAM speeds have since gone up to 400 Mhz and 533 Mhz, as my browsing of computers has revealed. He can put his old hard drive in a new computer, but he will need a bigger one anyway. He said his modem was having issues.

I really don’t know what to make of Dell. Companies like Dell and Compaq and Sony aren’t really computer companies, they’re computer assemblers. They take parts, put them together, and sell them as a whole. I remember believing the notion that you could build a computer for less money than buying it as a whole. I don’t believe this any more. One word: Wholesale. Or bulk. A thousand video cards will cost less to an assembler (per video card) than one video card to the average consumer. Same goes for motherboards and CPUs and RAM. Unless you’re a particularly shrewd consumer, I’m willing to bet it’s more cost-effective to just buy a god-damned Dell than bother building it. Besides, I haven’t the patience to build a computer. There’s something about blaming somebody else if something goes wrong that just make me feel better.

It was after midnight when I left Cliff’s. I have this urge to buy a new sex toy. I stopped by Playtime Boutique for the first time since the arson incident. I figured they were closed, but I was surprised at their hours. I thought they were open until 1 AM. They’re open until 11 on weekdays. …Okay.

I bought my first Playboy today. In all my years of browsing pornography, I’ve never paid for porn. Not that Playboy really counts for porn. Sexually explicit material, maybe, but Playboy is exceedingly softcore. I think it was morbid curiosity. I remember a kid who brought some Playboys and Penthouses with him on the 8th grade DC trip. But when you’re 13, you can’t exactly give the magazines a good cover-to-cover analysis. The people who say they buy Playboy for the articles aren’t entirely lying. The articles aren’t that bad. (Most notably, an interview with John Carmack, creator of DOOM. I was left wondering, “What is this doing in a magazine that has boobies?”) More importantly, articles are the bulk of the magazine. So to have a subscription to Playboy without feeling like you’re paying for only a few pages of boobies, you HAVE to convince yourself you like the articles.

I went to the local Quickie-Mart (as I call it) for my purchase. I find some irony in the fact that I’ve bought multiple sex toys and have exposed myself to the kind of pornography that would make connosieurs go “…Why?”. And I’m only now getting around to doing what is considered a rite of male passage. Or some bullshit like that.

I noticed some signs saying the Quickie-Mart was looking for full-time help during the evenings and graveyard shift. Mental note made. It’s far closer than the Dunkin Donuts in Flanders that’s hiring. I don’t think anybody can work at a convenience store without thinking of Clerks.

I love these root beer mugs I bought. When Paige told me about the cups she had, I decided I wanted to make sure I have decent cups. Besides, I hate most of the cups my mom has. …So now I have sexy root beer mugs. Yes.

While the aforementioned Playboy did not cause me to pop a boner, I sodomized myself anyway and proceeded to test drive some unused condoms. If masturbation is any indication, I think investing in the Magnums was a wise choice. Not that I’m expecting myself to become sexually active anytime soon, but it’s good to know they’re there if some bizarre situation arises where I’m required to don a condom.

I’m betting drinking that energy drink was a bad idea. (Hey, had to buy something with the Playboy.) And I should probably stop drinking iced tea. Caffeine, you know. But I’ve never had problems in the past with falling asleep while ingesting caffeine, so I figure tonight should be no different.

Cliff introduced me to yogurt in a tube. Food made for the lazy. I like it. It amuses me how easily Cliff can feed me. Yet Paige complained that I’m hard to please. *smirks*