ASwiftKickInTheAss.

Are you demotivated? Depressed? Apathetic? Are you unemployed or in a job you hate? Do you feel unsure about your self-worth? Do you think you’re fat? Are you lonely? Has masturbation lost its charm? Do you feel unable to change your position in life? Does seeing your friends being happy make you sad because you can’t be like them? Are you unable to do anything new out of sheer paranoia? Are you so content in your misery that you can’t change?

If so, perhaps ASwiftKickInTheAss is right for you. Our one-step program can change anybody’s life, and it can change YOU! Our staff is on all 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to administer ASwiftKickInTheAss. ASwiftKickInTheAss solves everything a trained psychological evaluation can’t. Feel like swallowing all your pain and moving on with your life without actually dealing with anything? ASwiftKickInTheAss guarantees you will continue with your current delusions, but still gain true happiness!

There’s no risk involved. Our trained professionals come to you! We can administer ASwiftKickInTheAss right in your own bedroom! Can’t even get out of bed? Not a problem! We can give you a ASwiftKickInTheAss to get out of bed, and can then administer the appropriate ASwiftKickInTheAss per problem you’d like solved.

Because, fact is, idle hands breeds idleness. If you sit around moping about your life situation, you’re never going to change – unless you order your ASwiftKickInTheAss now! Your shitty job isn’t going to get better unless you look for a new one, and odds are, you don’t have the balls to do that without ASwiftKickInTheAss. Your decrepit self-image can change by either buying a trick mirror, silencing your inner critic and loving yourself, or one administration of ASwiftKickInTheAss. If your self-love life is that bad, you deserve a ASwiftKickInTheAss! If masturbation is the worst of your problems, damn!

Life doesn’t need to seem that bad. Stop moping and buy ASwiftKickInTheAss now, and start enjoying life! Also available is SlapUpsideTheBackofYourHead insurance for when you fuck up. Here at Repression International Inc, we care about our mentally disturbed customers. Should you ever regress or develop new problems, one of our trained professionals will arrive shortly at your location and administer ASlapUpsideTheBackofYourHead.

The preceding program has not been approved by the FDA. Opinions expressed may or may not reflect those of this network.

Hahaha. : D

LMAO,OMFG. This is probably one of the few times I don’t need your course. I would so RC this if it would let me. Rock on,Timmy!!!

this really should be RCed. please! liven up that RC page a little.

I think the majority of America could use this program. 😉

*giggles*

StonedSmurfette

September 8, 2005

.::Laughs::. You poor bastard 😛

HurtsLikeHell

lmao. . .thats wonderful, and I admit…I need the program! Ryn~ Im HORRIBLE at noting, but I read all the time. So if you dont get a note every entry, im not slacking. I just don’t note often HI THERE! to you too! *smiles* Bye

One Angry Dwarf

I ordered this a week ago, and it did me no good. I had to return it, which was highly satisfying. Oh, and thanks to your blank notes (Especially the private one. That just solidified it all.) I’ve not only found religion, but millions of dollars, a husband, a distinct path in life, and somehow, a large pepperoni pizza. What would I ever do without you?