As I dance with myself.

Heh, I always talk about sex. Maybe because I haven’t engaged in it in ages. Eh. I was pretty perverted before I became sexual at all. If anything, the more experienced I’ve become, the dirtier my mind has become. After all, you can only fathom how naughty sex is once you’ve had it.

Very naughty.

I like to joke with myself with how long it’s been. 29 months now? I’ve been a bit of a tongueslut when it comes to cunnilingus, but it’s still 29 months since I last had intercourse. At first, it was funny to me. But, as expected, well, I miss it. Who wouldn’t? Sex is awesome! Vagina feels nice. Skin-to-skin contact. Physically satisfying. And feels pretty nice emotionally. And all that jazz.

I kind of feel like a born-again virgin. In fact, I think I’m kind of afraid of Vagina now. It’s easy to get sucked into having sex because of how it feels emotionally, without realizing that you’re fooling yourself just a little bit. Sex is pretty intimate, no? I’d probably lick a ladyfriend’s cunt if she was STD-free. (I said I’m a tongueslut.) But sex…

I do have a rather curious track record of going way too fast than I should, but emotionally and physically. I’ve never been able to figure out quite why. Maybe it’s fear that if you don’t seize on momentum, it’ll fizzle out. Maybe if things fizzle out enough times, you just want to make the most of each moment. Yet I don’t particularly like flings. Maybe other people like just feeling up whoever they can, but it’s fleeting for me.

Unless I really am a flingy person. (Flingy person?) I was going to type “I want a relationship!”, but then I hear the immediate response, “Do you? Do you really?” Heh. The idea of having a stable ladyfriend sounds better than a series of flings. I tend to believe we do whatever feels good and we enjoy doing. Unless flings just satisfy the now without much perspective.

Though, I tend to believe that people will end up however they’re going to end up, regardless of how much you screw up initially. I don’t know, just something I’ve believed since watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Some people click. If they resist it, it doesn’t go away. And if it doesn’t work out, then that means it wouldn’t have worked out if they had just hooked up when they first met. If that makes any sense. Holding back doesn’t do anything for you in the long run.

At least, that’s a personal philosophy. I’ve been prone to pounce on anything I feel for females ever since my first crush. As in, I did nothing. So I told myself, “Enough of this bullshit!” Eh. Coincidence that it happens to be consistent with everything else, but I doubt that’s the only catalyst.

This Tom Petty song is really catchy. I’ve always liked Tom Petty. I can thank my sister’s fantastic taste in music. Maybe I should buy some more of his albums. It has soul.

Anyway, I’m not pretending I’m saying anything original. If you write long enough, you tend to repeat yourself, or at least repeat certain themes.

Oh. It was suggested I try using kegels to improve my ejaculatory velocity. I’ve toyed with doing kegels before, but I never had any set routine. Would it help ejaculatory volume? Maybe it would helpe erectile strength. Though, as I said to Jennie, my penis refused to go flaccid around her. Really, my erections aren’t that bad lately. I can’t particularly complain. Masturbation’s been pretty good in the past few months. I like being horny. I’d be sad if I ever lost my sex drive. Moreover, women tend to be hornier than guys. Gotta keep up with them, ha ha. Good thing I have a good tongue.

Reminds me, I’ve been meaning to invest in a zinc supplement. Encourages prostate health, helps in metabolic pathways, and boosts testosterone. I don’t believe in supplements unless you know why you’re taking it.

Man, I talk too much. I have to go hit the Berry of Lies to work on a paper. Closes at 5 PM, so I should work pretty efficiently. Then I need to eat afterwards, because I need to eat to avoid losing weight. Maybe I’ll wank tonight. We’ll see if I need help sleeping. If not, it’ll always make tomorrow’s better.