Another Year.

After Carolyn wished me a happy birthday last night, I inadvertantly articulated my psychosis in a minimum amount of words. We were talking about how every event to date has brought me to where I am now. And that we really wouldn’t want to change anything.

And it clicked. I used to want to avoid doing things that would cause me to deviant from who I wanted to be. It’s control. I wanted to control who I was going to be. So the more I tried to control everything, the more out of control I felt. In a manner of speaking. And now that I’ve let go, I’m in complete control. The end is the beginning. I’m amused.

In other news, I got a sheet from CCM stating which courses transferred. 33 out of 65 credits. Really, everything that should have transferred, did. And everything that was superfluous didn’t. And for some strange reason, Creative Writing transferred as English Comp 2. I’m amused as all hell, as I didn’t want to take that. Woo hoo. When I look at requirements for the degree, I’ll only need eight more courses after this semester. So, I’ll just take my time. Relax. It’ll be over before I know it.

I dumped all the stuff on my bed last night on the floor. I promised myself I’d clean it up when I got up. After showering this morning, I did clean it up. I put some of my old(er) journals back where they belonged. Such progress, handling them. The spurts come and go, but during those critical moment, there’s always a page written in.