A ‘Brief’ History of Timmy, Part IX

I remember people looking at my feet as I danced. I have this knack for being able to just feel the music. I danced. Princess’s boyfriend, did not. I don’t mean he didn’t know how to dance. I mean, he REFUSED to dance. This, combined with some things that weren’t apparent on the surprise, completely ruined prom for Princess, scarring her for life. And I do mean scar. Princess and her boyfriend broke up over the weekend and.. it was nasty?

I remember the Star Ledger came to school, to do a reflective on Columbine. Me, looking like a Timmy, got interviewed. *laughs* I said I was a pacifist. Weeks later, I got into a fight with someone whose name I can’t even recall. Go figure. Know this: Never knock my glasses off, even by accident. Or I will go ballistac on you. :: emits Aura :: The fight was days before Senior Prom.

I didn’t exactly plan it. Amanda and Stef were in my gym class. I can just tell when people like me, and I knew Stef had interest in me. Unfortunately, I never felt anything back. *shrugs* So. One Friday, we were in the mall, they were looking for prom shoes. When Stef went to the bathroom, Amanda asked me how much money it would take me to GOTO the Senior Prom with Stef. I said, “None?” I’m not stupid, I saw it coming. I was well aware of the fact that Stef needed a date. I just made myself available. *big grin* I got a free trip to prom! It actually kind of sucked, because it felt like the dancefloor was too small. Also… Amanda’s date banged heads with somoene. I think it was during… Well, they played “Faith”. You know, that cover by Limp Bizkit. Bloood. *chuckles* Night ended early, but that was okay. I was there because they knew I was a nice guy.

Come June, I knew I had to stop flirting with Shannon. And.. I did just that. I resisted her. Year ended, and I decided that I could NOT go through another year like that ever again. I decided I should be stable over Senior Year. I needed to just be with myself. I couldn’t chase girls all year. I wanted a nice happy year. For the most part, I got just that.

Over the summer, I had a nice vacation. I drove with my mom to her parents. Then took a flight from Rochester to St. Paul to see Dad’s folk’s. I walked in the door, and my Grandpa said to me, “Timmy, I bought a new car.” Literally, the day before, he bought a brand new Nissan Altima. Leaving with him an old Toyota Camry which he didn’t need. With only my permit, Dad and I drove the Camry home. I did most of the driving. You can’t buy experience like that.

Two important things happened when I returned home. First, I met Arizona’s INCREDIBLYBEYONDBELIEFHOT sister. Then, I met Rachael. My first online friend/crush/girlfriend/relationship. I had never liked anybody online before. I felt into the trap of falling in love with a fantasy. She was none of the things I thought she was. She just took the attention and strung me along. Arizona moved to Arizona and Ziggy began plotting to get in her pants. Correction: he was plotting to get in her pants the entire time. So. Considering I don’t pull too many favors from my parents, they paid for a plane ticket to Arizona and…

Ziggy and I spent a week in Arizona. A week of.. Um. Ziggy makes me look bad. That week might have been one of my peaks of weirdness. It was once joked that if I ever took drugs, I’d turn normal. If you think about it, there’s some truth to that. We got to see Arizona’s INCREDIBLYBEYONDBELIEFHOT sister in a bathing suit. … Ziggy spent the next two years pining for her.

I thought I’d try and redeem myself academically, Senior Year. When I told people I was taking AP Physics, they told me I was crazy. Maybe I was. Princess, the math person she is, also took AP Physics. (It’s a joke.) She was also in my Calc class. They were consecutive. Calc, then Physics. *nods* Mr. Gounaud suggested we exchange emails. She had an AOL address. I IMed her that day. We talked about love, if I remember correctly. This was towards the end of my thing with Rachael. Bleh. She talked about her ex-boyfriend, as she would continue to do, to this day. The funny thing is, it never, ever bothered me. Sanaz bothered me when she talked about her ex-boyfriend. I told Sanaz to “let it go” or “get over it”, words you do NOT say to people. I was extremely supportive of Princess. I remember every night, Senior Year, I’d stay up late just for her, just in case she’d need me.

I will admit, I had a thing for Princess. I liked her. I suppose it formed in June. But. I knew that she would never have any interest in me. Eventually, it wore on me. I could smell her, in class. Princess is not the type of girl you can flirt with. I knew I had to tell her. I wanted to do it in person. You know, the mature thing to do. I’m glad I did it online. It was just before Thanksgiving, if I remember correctly. She was rather surprised, of course. She was afraid she’d hurt me. I got it out of my system. She knew. I as rejected. We never spoke of it again, because of how uncomfortable I had made her. And after that, I didn’t really feel anything for her. I’d get echoes every now and then, but for the most part, we were platonic as friends could be.

Conveniently, my Grandpa died right before Thanksgiving. This let me (and Wendi) fly up to St. Paul without taking time off from school. (Wendi DID graduate on time. She lived at home for a looong time.) Grandpa was a marvel of modern science, really. With all that smoking, he should have died a while ago. I didn’t really feel anything. Someone had died. Dad was a mess, of course. Everybody was crying at the funeral. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t cry.

Eshwar brought Rojesh and Jessica with him. I don’t think Rojesh quite got that Grandpa was dead. Oh well, he didn’t seem tramatized by the experience or anything. I remember going out into the back yard and playing in the snow. It’s funny, the kid really looks up to me. I wish I could see him more often. I bet I could have more of big influence on him, relative to the fact that I rarely see him. I’m big Cousin Timmy. *smiles*

I sat with Ziggy and some other Seniors for a time. (I was mistaken for a Freshman, again, earlier in the year.) It’s really hard to pinpoint, but he started to wear on me. I can’t explain it. So I won’t. Sometime in December, I left that table, and turned my back on someone who was there for me Junior Year. Sara took pity on me, and I sat with Sanaz and Sara. For a moment, I could literally claim that I had more female friends than male friends. Eventually, their male-bashing wore on me, and I left that table, too. Where did I go?

I’ll never forget the day I met TRENTS+EIN. Or Trent, whatever. He’s the most insane kid I’ve ever met. They (some kids I knew from 305, the CS classroom) left me alone with him. He started going ON and ON about having a zit on your penis. And having a zit on that zit. And a zit on that zit. And um. Maybe he talked about Steven Seagal and some monkeys in a palm tree, who knows. I walked into Human Behavior and said to Jen and Sanaz, “I’ve met my match.” They thought I was refering to a girl. *laughs* I had met someone more fucked up than me.