What I know (entry #2)

I know that there are lessons we learn in life. Sometimes, a lesson is taught with an intent to teach something specific but, being human, we take something else from it, something unintended. These are the things I know (or have learned) in my life about myself.

I am not a fighter.
I am not much of a lover, either.
I am calm, with a short fuse.
I am selfish.
I am unapologetic.
I am a red-head.
I am curvy.
I am sick of hating that I’m curvy.
I am sexual.
I am boring.
I have fascinating aspects of myself that I don’t know how to share.
I have fetishes (and they are none of your business).
I want life to be easy.
I am always surprised when it’s not.
I hate that I’m that naive.
I do want my daddy back.
I purposefully ignore certain people in my life, though they don’t deserve it.
I am a smoker.
I don’t want to hear that it’s bad for me. I’d have to be an idiot to not know that. So shut up about it.
I am completely and utterly enthralled with my youngest child. I think she’s a changeling.
I am scared… most of the time.
I am the best actress you’ve ever known, b/c you didn’t know the previous.
I want to be better than I am.
I lack motivation, for anything.
I wish I was strong enough to say all the "fuck yous" that need to be said.
I would take a bullet for my loved one’s (but I wonder if it’s only so they’ll say "she was the best woman I’ve ever known").
I have secret dreams and don’t know how to make them reality.
I want to trust the people won’t hurt me, but I know better.
I am proud, too proud.
I love show tunes.
I don’t know how to make anyone trust me (and I suspect I don’t deserve it, anyway).
I have extreme self-confidence issues.
I don’t know how that meshes with being proud.
I have great ideas about OD entries and then run out of things to say… such as now…

Tia