Stupid F&%$#*(&* (read: I am blessed)

I have been punched in the face…

With a fantastically wonderful revelation!

I have a WONDERFUL daughter. (well, I have two, actually, but I’m currently speaking of the older of them)

My darling child, who will soon be 12 (less than a MONTH!) was fiddling with my cell phone today. She stumbled across an old number that’s been on it for probably 3 years, now. An old friend of her from WAAAY back. Back then, the girl had given us her number to "keep in touch" but we are *horrible* at such things, so of course, we didn’t. I digress.

Yani found the number and squee’d loudly.

"MOM! Can I call Mariah and see if it’s still her number??! PleaseohpleaseI’llwashdishesforamonth!!!" Her usually soft voice was reminiscent of a baby piglet.

Mostly to get her to quit, I said it was fine, but keep it short. (Minutes cost money. Granted, they don’t cost ME money, but still…)

I continued with the prep for dinner (we’re having company over for pizza) and only half listened to her conversation as she floated in and out of the kitchen. I heard her explaining who she was looking for and then explaining who she was and then I kind of toned her out, busy w/ the chopping and such, and assuming (since she was still on the phone) that she had found her friend and was chatting.

She walked back into the kitchen and I glanced at her, not really looking. It took a second for me to recognize the bewildered look on her face and, once I did, I listened to what she was saying.

"No, look, my REAL name is Ayanna, but my nickname is Yani… YES IT IS. Ok, fine, I must have the wrong number… what? No I’m trying to find my friend Mariah… I don’t REMEMBER her last name… UGH!" She sounded *very* frustrated. I walked over and looked at her.

"Would they like to talk to your mother?" I asked, thinking I could help with whatever the problem was.

She handed me the phone. On the other end I heard a young teenage girl giggle and then quickly quiet.

"Hello?" I said.

"Yeah, is this Yanna’s mom?" Mispronunciation of my daughter’s name is common, but this child was grating on my nerves already.

"Yes, it is. Is there a problem?" I ground my teeth a little.

"You should know you have a sick child," this… thing says to me.

"Really? Why?" I’ll bite… hard.

"She kept talking about penises and crap. She’s sick." The vile hussy dared to say. I rolled my eyes at Yani to show her I had this under control.

"That’s interesting," says I. "Considering she was standing right next to me the entire time and I never once heard anything of the sort out of her mouth. Was she using some code that I don’t know?"

Now, *big shock* here, but the girl immediately back-pedals and asks me what Yani was calling for. Of course, as sweet as a hornet now that a woman was on the phone. I calmly explain my child’s intent and then tell her that we’ll be getting off the phone now b/c it was obviously a waste of our time. I heard her gasp at the intended insult and said…

"Good Day!"

*Click*

Yani informs me after I hang up that the little bitch (yeah, I call her bitch and I don’t care) was being horrible to her and saying she was looking Yani up on the internet and calling her names. When Yani tried to say she was sorry to bother them and get off the phone the bitch said something along the lines of ‘If you hang up on me I’ll track you down and kill you’. I, of course, told Yani that it wasn’t even possible for the silly thing to do that. We’ve spent so many years burying ourselves from notice that my own father couldn’t (as was proven) find me. 😉 Plus, the number that they now have on their cell phone is a Florida number in my father’s name, so yeah.

Basically, I wasn’t going to let my darling child worry about such horrible children as the one we were unfortunate enough to encounter in this conversation.

I do, however, wish to track the little bitch down, wash her mouth out with soap, and give her good spanking to show her that she’s just a fucking child and how *dare* she speak to *my* wonderful daughter that way.

But that’s just wishful thinking.

Moral of the story?

There are a lot of little shithead preteens (and teenagers) out there. They’re mouthy and rude and liars and self-consumed and deserve less than the jail cell that is waiting for them. I can’t even begin to get into their parents and what I think THEY deserve for creating these monsters.

But my daughter is not one of them. So there, world. Take that. *pthbthtbpt*

Note: I know that I sound self-righteous and uptight and, generally, like a shithead all around. But I’m irritated. So, perhaps I’ll issue something of a retraction later, but for now? Take it, leave it, bitch about it, I don’t care… 😉

XOXOXOXO
Tia