A WALK ON THE BEACH

This afternoon degenerated to a cool misty day with a chilly wind blowing ashore off the ocean. I went for a walk down the beach more for my emotional and mental health than for muscle tone. This is the slow meandering walk that includes many stops, detours and stones shipped into the surf. The smell off the ocean was extremely salty and quite pleasant. This morning I had led a beginners meeting for AA and I felt very unsure of some of the advice I tendered. How can I tell a 24 year old young woman that she has to leave her children and abusive spouse in order to regain her self will and self worth? I told her that to expect to go back to her house and relationship and expect anything different was the height of insanity. She is currently in a six month half way house and I advised her to stay the route. Others had similar concerns and I sat Solomon like on the throne dispensing infallible words of wisdom. I guess the doubts spring from learning the a friend I sponsor is out again for the umpteenth time. Another friend, a woman has been undergoing kidney stone type pains for the past month. They have made it almost impossible to work and go to school and the Doctors cannot determine the cause. She has even been put under for examination to no avail and has to continue for more tests. When I was actively drinking I did not have any problem advising others and curing the ills of the world.

The beach walk gave me time to focus on myself and my God. I also brought the Higher Power along for a consultation and between us three I felt a peace envelope me and the world was once more a place of happiness. Early on at the first meeting I attended in town I heard a speaker solve my God problems. He said and I never have forgotten ” The only thing you have to know about God is that you are not him.” Made sense to me then and still does.

Life doesn’t always behave the way I want it to behave. The difference today is that I can accept it as it occurs without drowning my problems. The Serenity Prayer is my Manta and if said often enough never fails to work. I know that there is no problem I cannot make worse by drinking.

It is time for dinner and my wife wants to go to a Sports Bar for dinner and the first game of the NCAA Final Four. We will watch the second game at my daughter’s house and I am looking forward to that also.

Today: still active no rating