Pits

Halloween pictures will be up soon! 🙂

Time.
Where do i spend mine?

Money.
Where does mine go?
 
Day Dreaming.
What occupies my mind?
 
Love.
What is the deepest desire of my heart?
 
My deepest cry is to say "Jesus, Worship, Service, Humility, Evangelism".
But that would be a lie.
 
I am in the valley. Scratch that. I am in the muddy pit.
 
Psalm 22: 14- 15
I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me. My mouthis dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you lay me in the dust of death.
THIS is my life right now. I am dried up, empty, and spent.
I have forgotten who i serve. I have forgotten my first love. I have forgotten what it means to live a life that is humble and daily seeking the Lord.
I am not out partying, drinking, sleeping around, etc. But that doesn’t make me any less rebellious, any less broken. So what if i "live a good life, say the right things, show up at church on Sundays, etc" that DOES NOT make me a Christian, that does NOT make me a Christ FOLLOWER.
I know i’m a servant of the Most High King. I know that my life has been willingly given over to the one who created me. I’m just in the pit. I’m in the darkened place where Satan has a strong grip on my flesh. I’m in the place where listening to the Will of God has become difficult and frustrating.
i believe in honesty, and so i’m being honest.
This is the Lord i serve:
Psalm 29:
Ascribe to the LORD, you heavenly beings, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of hisholiness. The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon leap like a calf, Sirionlike a young wild ox. The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the LORD twists the oaksand strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, “Glory!” The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD is enthroned as King forever. The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.
He is mighty and just and powerful.
I am nothing without him. I am in need of his beautiful and life altering grace, mercy, and love.
I am breathing the same languge as David did while writing the Psalms. I have my moments of joy and admiration and i have my moments of frustration, emptiness, and pain. Being a Christian is a hard path, that is why it is called the narrow road. It bends, twists, has thorns and tripping points but the journey and the end result is what makes these low points satisfying.
I know HE is not through with me yet.
I know HE is not through with the ministry HE has laid on my heart.
I know HE is being patient with me and walking with me.
I know HE loves me intimately and desires my worship.
Even in the pit i will worship my King.
Please be praying…