anxiety.

 I’ve had anxiety for 10 years now. 
But my anxiety has always been a little different. 
I would make myself physically sick. I would get super nauseous to the point to where i just want to throw up. All because i felt like i had eaten something that would make me sick, or if someone else had a virus. 
It sucked.
i went to counseling. 
[also i’m leaving out a TON]
it’s gotten A LOT better. 

Recently….

I’ve been having chest pains that can sometimes go down my left arm.
Recently as in a few months…
Does that mean i’m having a heart attack?
That i have an enlarged heart?
Clogged arteries? 
Heart disease? 
The list goes on and on.
Is it my anxiety making it do this?
Am i anxious because my brother left for school and i’m worried about him as well as worried about finances? 
???????

Heart disease, heart attacks, high cholesterol and high blood pressure all run in my family. My blood pressure is excellent every time but i dont know about the other stuff.

Here i sit, 1:30am…freaking myself out. Crying because i think i might die in the middle of the night from a heart attack but i dont feel that it is seriously enough to go to the ER because it could just be A. my anxiety B. my meds i’ve been taking (a decongestant) or C…something else.

Pray for me.

I dont know what to do. I’m going to call my aunt in the morning and talk to her about it. 
I hate this. 
I hate not knowing. 

Ugh.