04/08/2013

 Where am i in life…

I suppose that is the million dollar question. I haven’t really posted since november’ish of last year. 
Honestly…i think i’ve been afraid confused with out to write. What am i to say when life has been the same day in an day out for months. When my friendships have been the same, church hoping – the same, relationships – the same. How do you force yourself to sit down and write out your thoughts when they’ve been on repeat for a while. 
Thankfully…things are changing

I have been working on myself, inwardly & outwardly. 
I’ve hired a trainer and meet with her once a week; i go to a free bootcamp on Saturdays and try to get in more exercise throughout the week myself. I’ve been loosing weight steadily and plan to keep it up; my goal weight is still a little ways off in the distance but this is about being healthy, fit, and gaining strength. This is also about re-defining WHO I am and how i view myself. I am beautiful, i am loved, i am cherished, and i am making a new path for myself. 
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I’ve also been going to a counselor to help manage my anxiety before my big trip {i’ll talk about in a few}. Since meeting with her we’ve been exploring some other emotions/situations that i haven’t faced for years. We are in the beginning stages and so far it’s been challenging but  in the same breathe beautiful and rewarding. I think one of the reasons this season of my life is bringing up so many different things within my counseling appointments is = i’m ready. I’m ready to move on, i’m ready to face my past, i’m ready to make a better future. And honestly i’ve been ready for a few years and have already been making progress. 

I’m starting to help out with a new ministry in my ‘home church’. I haven’t been back to the church in…well almost 7 years. I’m still not sure if this is where i will be attending every Sunday; but God has definitely opened up doors for me to help start a college/career type ministry…since it is seriously lacking. 

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My weeks are busy…VERY busy. It seems that each day get’s shorter and shorter and i keep falling asleep later and later. I work M-F 830-5 and monday nights i’m either working out, or doing something with the new C&C ministry. Tuesday nights i’m training, wednesday nights C&C, thursday nights are BIble study, Friday nights training, saturday mornings training…etc. I still have to fit in hang out time with friends, appointments, errands, cleaning and more. 
Do you get my gist? I am so busy.

Home life…well it’s been interesting. Maria is still my roommate, and we get along really well {not even kidding} it’s been a great balance so far. My brother is almost done with his sophomore year of college and then he will be back home for the summer! We’re in the process {aka started today} of getting some of the floors in the house ripped up and replaced. The joys of having an older home = rotting floors. 

Relationships…i’ve ‘talked to’ a few guys here and there lately but nothing seems to come of it. I honestly believe that i’m just in a season where i need to be patient and put my focus in other areas…not boys. I’m ok with it too, it’s OK to not pursue relationships if you’re single. Yes i’m getting ‘older’ and yes all of my friends are married but that doesn’t mean i have to be right now. =)

Trip.
Some girlfriends & I are heading to Ireland & Scotland this summer! I know, i’m just as shocked as you are! Two of the girls are moving to the UK for a while and before they get settled in they wanted to travel…so i jumped right on board! We’ve already got our plane tickets & passports in hand now it’s just planing where we’re going, where we’re staying, and what we’re doing! I CAN NOT WAIT!!

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So that’s what has been up with me…i’m going to try to make this a habit again…writing out my days, my thoughts, my emotions, my struggles, my joys. 🙂