07/19/2009

Last night thunder storms make me nervous. Copper shiver shaking and the lights dimming and rising again. Me with my head the closet, trying to find a flash light, a candle, a lighter. The drunks in the park outside screaming, "OH!’ whenever the lightening would flash and then sirens sirens sirens for a long time.

When I was a little girl and there was a storm my mum would light candles and get out her guitar and we could sit on the floor and sing.  

Last night I am laying in bed under a swealtering hot number of blankets trying not to think about my motorbike getting knocked off, hit by a tree, the windows breaking, the power staying out. Thinking how I really should not have procrastinated making a 48 hour emergency preparation kit.

I am meant to be mated. I am meant to have someone there in bed laughing at my foolishness and giving me a tickle fight for distraction. I am meant to make coffee for two on sundays and sit quietly on opposite ends of the couch while she needs the sports and I read the obituaries and Copper curls in the cushions in between.