5 yr old in handcuffs

As I saw the video clips on the news, etc, I saw a child who is lost and needs help that she doesn’t know how to ask for. Our own MiddleSon had a similar experience in Kindergarten (when he was also 5), but without the police and the handcuffs.

But make no mistake, he was just as out of control.

I don’t have the whole story, but it really bothers me that the press are reporting that this young girl’s mother has acquired an attorney, but not yet a psychologist. We went the other direction.

By the time the “newsworthy” event unfolded at our local elementary, we had already had several visits with our son’s psychologist, (I called it parenting class). So when MS melted down, the school called us (like the Florida school did for the current young lady in the news). I was up there within 10 minutes, and I helped the school nurse, the school principal and the school vice principal hold my thrashing son down while I told him calmly that we would NOT let him go until he agreed to behave as we expected him to (thanks, Dr. Z!). While he was testing us to see if the new home technique would really be upheld here at school, he actually did manage to kick our school principal. I think there was some spitting involved, too, but, I really remember him winding down through the fit, and finally agreeing to sit up and behave as we were demanding that he do and also face the punishments that he expected were coming.

After it was over, the principal (a very wise woman who was in her 15th year or so at the time as principal at our school) breathed deep (visibly) and told me thank-you with her mouth, eyes, and heart. After watching today’s news, I wonder what would have happened to my MS had I not come to the school when asked. It was one of those “drop everything and come now” moments. I looked like s*** at the time, let me tell you! After MUCH further investigation, believe it or not, this thing with my son was over the library visit. He could already read by this time (I am not making this up, and yes, I know the difference, because my other two very smart children could not by this point), but he really could. Almost newspaper level. And the plan for the kindergarten students was to limit their library experience to just the books the librarian pre-selected and put on the table. All way too “baby” for MS by this point. So, his 5-year-old self could not think of how to verbalize his problem (nor could he write about it at that time), but he sure was outraged and he sure could kick and scream! It is hard to imagine how someone can behave that way if they can truly read at that level and do other amazing advanced things, but guess what…. he was still only FIVE!!! I saw echoes of that in the news today. I bet that little girl on the table in Florida is really actually very smart.

I don’t mean to condemn any parent who has a child who they don’t know how to handle/help. I really have been there (a lot!!!!) But sometimes a FIVE year old doesn’t know WHY he/she is unhappy, and maybe we should be helping instead of looking for whom to blame.