you are one seriously fuct up chick

i really hate life lately.  i can’t pinpoint what started it or why it’s gone on for so long.  i feel like i want to run…..far away.

today i know what it is.  i’m working this really craptastic job at the university.  i basically answer phone calls from retarted students and their parents to give them info on their financial aid.  i hate it.  i’m going to stick it out though because well, we’re fucking broke.  broke to the point that our house payment is 3 months behind.  yeah.  it’s shitty.  today i got a call from my "boss" telling me that she can’t leave her office for the day so our training has been cancelled until next week monday.  i don’t even have 20 fucking hours this week.  i was told it was a 40 hour a week job.

today i looked at his myspace page because he was no longer on my friends list and i couldn’t find him.  all of his friends have been deleted, it didn’t make sense.  so i logged into it, he knew i did it i was on the phone with him.  he had a note from Dix.  wanna talk about piss me off.  she wanted to know "why is she still on here?"  what bitch?  i’m his fucking finace’, i still wear the ring.  that’s why i’m still fucking on there.  who does she think she is??  i’m serious, i mean what kind of kid, she’s not a woman, would be so unselfrespecting that she would continuously go after someone else’s man.  jeezuz, even if a guy told me that he was leaving his wife, girlfriend, whatever, i wouldn’t stick around. 

i don’t know what to think.  he says that he doesn’t talk to her anymore and that he’s had nothing to do with her in a long time, but why would she not just go away?  i mean is she seriously that fucked up?  when all this started she sent him a text that said "i’m going to burn your playhouse down".  now she’s all in love with him again?  i don’t get it.

i want to send her an email or call her and tell her to back the fuck off, but if i do that it’ll only cause problems.  she won’t talk to me, at all.  so that means she’ll start emailing him and calling him which in turn will cause us to fight. 

i hate this bullshit.

i’m sick of bullshit.