is it bad that i miss you being here already?

1-14-10

I’m currently nursing a kidney stone. I’m not a kid anymore I don’t need pet rocks. 🙁 Bleh. That’s all I can say about that.

Being that I felt like shit all day and didn’t sleep last nite due to said pet rock digging at my urinary tract, I didn’t get to see Tosh today. 🙁 That makes me a sad panda. He went shopping today to find a new outfit so he can find a job. I believe that I’ve gotten too attached to him. Sure it’s been 3 months, but we’ve only not seen each other like 2 days out of those three months. On my job front, I got the data entry position! It’s the second shift, and I’m not real happy about that, it’s 3.30-midnite. That means my Tosh time is really going to dwindle. But at least I’ll have some money coming in and then when I do have time off we’ll be able to do stuffs instead of just hanging out in my bedroom watching movies and hockey. Not that that’s a bad thing, but we get bored.

Tonite he told me that he missed me today, because he’s used to seeing me everyday. And then told me that he’s “looking forward to seeing me again soon.” It cracks me up how formal he is sometimes. But he sounded really happy for me when I told him I got the job.

I’m bored.

O
whatcha doin?
Tosh
watchin a little futurama
O
you have an addiction to that show
Tosh
yup
O
lol
Tosh
i love it
O
lol, i know
are you watching it on the dvr?
Tosh
yup
its boring
O
aww
it’s about the same thing we’d be doing if you were here
Tosh
still better
O
you don’t like to be alone at all do you?
Tosh
yeah
i do to
O
oh, well i didn’t figure that it was really because you wanted to be here, i thought it was just because you were bored
Tosh
aw thats a terrible assumption then
O
well it’s not like i was hoping that was it

Kidney stone is finally passed, it took almost a week and that’s not normal, so hell I could’ve had twins running through me. Who knows. *shrug*

I didn’t do much this week, mostly slept the first part of the week due to said pet rocks. Tosh stayed on Sunday and Monday morning I felt like shit so I didn’t see him again until Wednesday.
Wednesday, we went to his house and did the dinner and game thing. His mom was out to dinner with some friends from work and his dad was on seconds so it was cool. I love it when he makes me steak. I can’t make steak like that. Not that I typically buy NY Strip or Sirloin, and really friends that may be the problem here.

Anywhore, we got back here and he stayed the nite. Wasn’t real cuddly, but that’s ok. I like the feel of him next to me and my pillows smell awesome when he leaves. 🙂 Yes, I am a dork, but I love the way he smells.

Thursday, his brother, JB, came home. His mom made him come back to the house because he was coming home. Tosh’s brother is 7 years older than us, which makes him 40. He’s got a 13 year old son and they’re both moving into the house. I can’t imagine the fun that’s going on there. 4 adults and a kid. Yay! Not so much. Tosh and JB don’t get along at all, well let me rephrase that. They get along for about a week at a time and since Tosh doesn’t drink anymore who knows if that will last a week. Then it’s like fist fighting. JB is ok, he didn’t have much to say, but the dude had been in a truck for 4 days driving out here. His son, RB, is well, he’s 13. lol. I tried to talk to him, but he didn’t have much to say and I can’t blame the kid. He doesn’t know me and it’s got to be strange moving across the country to move in with your grandrents and uncle. But the cat doesn’t like him at all and I found that really funny. Like abnormally funny. She watched him all nite and then finally tried to bite him when he tried to pet her. Tosh says that every time he gets up and moves around she chases him. I love that cat!

Friday he woke me up at like 10.30, to tell me he was going home. lol. I went back to sleep and woke up at like 1.30 when he textd me to ask if I was still sleeping. He was bored and dressed and had nothing to do. Poor baby, psh. I had to take my drug test for the job and with my stone, I wasn’t able to do it all week. I didn’t want them to think that I was trying to get clean for my test or anything so I needed to get that done. So Tosh being the nice guy that he is, came and got me and took me to do that. Then we stopped at Aunt Ren’s house. We didn’t stay there that long, she’s been really blah lately. I feel bad for her.

Then we stopped at Blockbuster to pick up God of War I and II. Stopped at the store, picked up stuffs for dinner and then to a different movie store for movies. Lol. Yep, we’re strange.

This morning he woke me up at 10.30 again. I didn’t sleep well last nite at all, sucks when that happens because he thinks it’s his fault and it’s not. He makes me over heat sometimes and I still get worried that my uncle will come down and say something. Even though he wouldn’t do that. It’s cuz I worry too much. Bleh.

I slept until 3pm after he left. Like I said I didn’t sleep well. I had a text from him that said “ur not still sleeping r u?” and um, yeah I was. Lol. I was sleepy.

So then I told him he couldn’t come over until like 5.30 because, well, I didn’t want to get shit from my uncle about it. He was kinda bummed about that, but yeah. I gotta save my own ass. So he came over and we watched the Wings let the Kings win. Fuckers.

He left shortly after that, said he was tired and didn’t want to drive home tired. I think it was really because my uncle was getting drunk and he didn’t want to have to deal with the wrath should it come down. And shit, I can’t blame him for that at all.

I’m still worried about what’s going to happen when I don’t see him every day or almost every day. I start my job on the 15th and yeah. He doesn’t like to be alone for long no matter what he says. So, I’m going into stupid girl mode and worrying about what’s going to happen. Bleh.

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January 23, 2010

Hockey good. Movies not so much.

January 23, 2010
January 24, 2010

O, me and Andy broke up on Wedn. Yuck, yuck, yuck!! I am doing better today than I was yesterday but it seems to be an every other day thing. Love sucks. I love him so much that loosing him feels like I am dying at times. We haven’t talked once, I miss him. You and Tosh will be fine, promise. Thank god you have gotten a job!! That is my goal for the week too~!

January 25, 2010

RYN: She was never worth my time to begin with as I was already D/Q-ing myself for age, which I said *up front*. And the “elegant” F/O way she put it did have a wounding effect, even tho it shouldn’t have. Thus, me being done looking. Love’s not in the cards for me hun; kinda said that yourself. It’s time I get over it. Not for you tho. That IS in your path. Enjoy it long time. Love you too.