i still don’t hate you, i just don’t understand.

i usually hate mondays, but today, it’s not so bad. hell, it’s almost 1 already.

ok, a bit of quick background. i’m a gamer. i love playing video games. 2 years ago i picked up Guild Wars, it’s an online game kind of like WoW, except that you don’t have to pay a monthly fee. and really that’s what pulled me to it in the first place. i needed something other than the Sims.

about a year ago the guild that i was in picked up a new player. we’ll call him M. M and i hit it off immediately. he’s a wise cracking smart ass like me. this caused a bit of discord in the guild because there was another guy who liked to flirt with me and i wasn’t giving him the attention that he was used to. eventually that guild broke apart into two new guilds due to the leader never being on and us not having the freedom to do what we wanted to do within our alliance.

********side note*******
guilds are a group of people.
alliances are a group of guilds.
********end side note********

half of our guild formed a new one, and the rest of us tried to stick it out feeling betrayed by the guildies that left. that didn’t work so the alliance leader gave me the means to start my own guild. M and i decided to start one and have a mutual leadership. we agreed on the name and stuff together. things were great for months. we had left that alliance to join up with another guild from it to form a new alliance. things were fine.

then 3 weeks ago M leaves. just leaves. no reason, no nothing. he won’t speak to me. he hasn’t ignored me, but he won’t talk to me. i don’t understand. i don’t know what i did to piss him off. i haven’t gone psycho on him, calling him, emailing him or anything. all i want is closure. he won’t give that to me.

last nite the old alliance leader tells me that he’s asked to join her guild. she asks me if i’m ok with it. so i tell her that if she does infact decide to invite him i won’t be playing with her guild anymore. a bit later she says to me, “you and M have been like family, and we like to be with family. so i’m going to invite him. our alliances don’t play together often, so i don’t think it will effect anyone very much.” wtf? it effects me. that hurts. and maybe i’m being a baby about it, but whatever.

so i put her and her husband on ignore. childish yeah, but i’m mad and i’m hurt.

i miss my friend.