have you ever felt this way

it’s only half past the point of oblivion, the hourglass on the table, the walk before the run, the breath before the kiss and the fear before the flame. have you ever felt this way

I don’t remember what I wrote about last, but it doesn’t really matter. Things around the house have been tense lately, a friend of the family killed himself and my uncle has been drinking a lot. It’s not been all that much fun to be around here.

Last nite Tosh and I were watching tv and one of my uncle’s women called. She wanted him to come see her and he wouldn’t. He had just gone to the store and bought 6 beers and didn’t want to go anywhere because he had started drinking already. She told him to have me drive him out there, he wouldn’t go for that either. I tried. Tosh even tried. *shrug* he’s stupid.

So we’re sitting down here and a couple of friends show up, they’re all upstairs talking loudly and drinking. Bleh. And Tosh starts getting all his stuff together like ready to bolt because honestly, he puts up with a lot of shit when he’s here.

About an hour after they get here, they all come down the stairs. All drunk and stupid. My uncle starts being an asshole, right off the bat. He said something about the dog and how I was being a rude bitch to the dog. I was like wow. But I kept my mouth shut because I know better. I know that if I say anything it will only cause problems.

Then he tells Tosh to spark up a bowl and Tosh said something about not having any left and my uncle already saw the bag that he had so, yeah busted. So he packs a small bowl and lets them all take a hit and then I notice that his glass is empty. So I make a motion for him to grab his glass and go upstairs. He didn’t get it, he must not be very good at guesstures. I whisper in his ear to take the glass and go upstairs. So he bolts, I wait a couple of seconds and grab my glass and follow him.

We hid in my room. Lol, so childish I know. But it’s all good. So we lay on the bed talking and listening to the radio and every time someone came upstairs I’d shut the light off. Lmfao. So finally the light just stayed off and he pulled me over to lay on his chest and just snuggled with me. *le sigh* He’s so soft and hard at the same time. And he always smells warm and yummy. We snugged for quite a bit, then the naughty stuff started. Hey, I’ve spent every day with this guy for a month, I think I did pretty well on waiting. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t want to have sex in the basement, he wanted it to be in the bed.

Afterward, he just held me. Kissing my forehead and telling me how nice it felt to lay there with me. I’ve never been a snuggler after sex, but it just felt right. I knew this was all coming, he’s been a lot more snuggly and huggy lately. And well, it’s not like it was planned. So, yeah we ended up falling asleep snugged up on the bed. The funny part is that neither of us are the type to want someone touching us when we’re sleeping. Lol. I’ve only fallen asleep like that once before and that was with Milton forever ago.

I woke up around like 1.30 and I woke him up to tell him I thought it was safe for him to leave. He kissed me goodbye and he was gone.

We talked for a second on FB after he got home, but we didn’t talk about what happened, so that was kinda strange. And I think it’s too late for emotions not to be involved. *sigh* I so totally dig him. I find him adorable and we have so much in common.

He just called, so I need to get in the shower before he gets here.