dizzy from lack of sleep

O
guess who’s getting a new bedroom, once i get a bed
Tosh
u get to move downstairs?
O
yesm
Tosh
so that chicks for sure movin in?
pmO
nope
but i still get to move down
Tosh
o cool
im happy for ya
O
he brought it up as soon as i came in the house
*dances like snoopy
lol
no more sunshine in my eyes 😀
Tosh
hes bein real cool lately
O
he knows that i’ve been pissed at him
he’s trying to make up for it
Tosh
and we can start fuckin more
pmO
lmfao
aww that’s so sweet
Tosh
hells yeah
O
you’re funny
Tosh
that fuckin guy is on agfain and wont answer any of my messages
and im usin my old name
O
i told you he’s trying to break up with you
quit being a clingy girl
😛
Tosh
then why would he answer my message last week and say hes playin?
O
let you down easy?
c’mon you’re a guy, you must know all the lines
lmfao
Tosh
he hadnt talked to me in 8 months
O
he thought you’d already broke up?
😀
Tosh
what a douche
O
need a hug?
Tosh
nah
O
fine
Tosh
just doesnt make any sense
O
i’m listening to this song, and i think it’s prince and jonny lang, it’s awesome
but i don’t know what it is
bleh
oh, it’s a “remake” of Jimi’s Red House
mmm i love blues
Tosh
cool
O
and now i’m rambling
😀
have fun playing socom, sorry he broke up with you
Tosh
oh i dont think im gonna play im probly gonna go to bed soon
O
uh huh
Tosh
whatever
O
😛
Tosh
u dont believe me
u suck
O
i do
Tosh
uh huh
O
i’m ok with that
Tosh
once again i had a good night tonight and am lookin forwardc to seeing u tomorrow
O
me too hun
Tosh
have a good night
O
you too
pretty dreams

Life is going well. I applied for 4 jobs this past week, 2 have already sent me thanks but no thanks letters. That kinda sucks, but whatev. I knew one of them I wouldn’t get. They wanted a year of experience and I only have like 6 months. Bleh.

My uncle hasn’t been drunk in about a week, that’s been nice. I know he’s doped up though. I’m not sure what he’s taking other than xanax. But as Tosh put it, I’d rather have him drugged and depressed than drunk and belligerent. He did tell me a few days ago that one of his friends might be moving in. bleh! She’s ok and I guess she’s known me since I was little but I don’t remember her. But the only empty room in the house is the one down here in the basement. That doesn’t work for me, that would take away my “entertaining” space. I would lose my living room. Nah, not happening. So I started telling Aunt Ren that I wanted to move down here to the basement. Only problem is that I don’t have a bed. That sucks. I need to find a bed so I can move rooms.

I still need to get the rest of my junk out of the house. I’ve been putting it off long enough, I doubt the coward (Rollie) would even be there. I just don’t want to go back to the house. Shitty, for cereal. I’m still waiting for divorce papers. Ooo, maybe I’ll get them for xmas, wouldn’t that be nice?

Jeezuz Pete’s Christ, my stupid music player keeps playing xmas music. Dude, it’s too freakin early for that. Ugh! Not that I really dig xmas music anyway.

I’ve had a decent week. Again with the not feeling sure stuff, and Tosh comes through like he always does. That’s really nice. If I start feeling like I don’t know where things are going or whatever he says or does something that puts me back at ease without me saying anything about it. That’s something completely new for me. Today he told me he cancelled his yahoo personals a month ago. Meaning that like shortly after he met me he did it. That makes me feel good. And then there are the sweet things he says to me on facebook about having a great time with me and wanting to see me again the next day. Le Sigh. Or the walk by and just rub my back for no reason, or that he now snuggles on the couch with me at his parents house. I hate that he doesn’t stay late with me anymore, unless he stays the nite. That first week was awesome, when he didn’t leave until like 8 the next morning. Lol. but we still have a million and one things to talk about. 🙂 That makes me happy. And we don’t really argue about anything, because we see eye to eye on most things. Although the Wings play the Devils in about 2 weeks and we’ll see how things are after that. Lol. Funny, I watch the Devils because he likes them, he watches the Wings because I like them. Tonite I went to grab a piece of gum and he says to me “hey, I have some gum. This girl I know gave it to me” and I was like “he’s got gum?” and he busts up laughing and says “you were thinking what girl?” and I said “no I was thinking what gum.” I gave him the gum last week because I didn’t like it and he did. He kept laughing and said “yeah right!” and I was like “no, really, you don’t chew gum often, so why would you have some” and he says “because you gave it to me” and starts laughing even harder. Dork.

Is it bad that I’m starting to like reggae? I mean I’m not like saying “jah jah” or anything. Lol, but I kinda dig the music. It makes me feel like being on a sunshiny beach. I’m illegally downloading some of it right now.

Tosh spent the nite 2 nites ago. It’s so awesome to have someone to cuddle with in bed. Sex aside, it’s just nice to have someone to lay on and have play with my hair and kiss my forehead. I forgot how much I love the smell of a man, the feel of stubble under my fingertips. But I get scared that my uncle is going to come in and then I don’t sleep well, plus we didn’t bring the pillows up from the basement, so we had to share the 2 that I normally sleep on. That sucked. We both had stiff necks, but it’s worse for him. A couple of pins and a steel plate in your neck will do that. Once I get moved down here we’ll both sleep a lot better. And “we’ll be fucking a lot”, says him. Lmfao. Again, I need to get a bed. Lmfao.

I have a dilemma; I don’t have plans for thanksgiving. I don’t really care about it, it’s not a big deal. My family is all going out of town, my rents aren’t cooking. So it’ll just be my uncle and I, but he got invited to his daughter’s bf’s rent’s house. He asked me to come along and I declined. Now here’s the problem. Tosh’s mom has mentioned a couple of times my plans for thanksgiving. I keep telling her that I don’t have any and that I’m ok with it. I didn’t want her to be the oneto invite me. That would just be awkward. Well, my uncle asked me the other nite while Tosh was here what I was doing. I told him nothing and then Tosh busts in with the “you’re more than welcome to come to my aunt’s house with me”. I declined and he went on to explain that it wasn’t formal and that it was just going to be him, his rents and aunt and uncle, all of whom I’ve met. So I think it was his way of saying “no pressure”. But really, I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me because I’m not spending the holiday with family. Bleh. I know he wouldn’t invite me unless he was ok with it. But still! Am I being too stupid about this? I mean we’re dating, but he’s not my bf. So I dunno.

Wow, limewire is slow on dial up.

So we watched the hockey games tonite and then he just dropped me off. Kinda sucked, but whatev. He said if he came in he’d get too comfy and not want to go home and then we’d both sleep like shit. Which is totally true. His mom bought us gyros for dinner, that was so awesome of her. But I got 4 kisses in the driveway and a silly grin when he said he’d come get me tomorrow. 🙂 I put my cold hand on his face and he was like “keep your hand to yourself”, as I walked away I said “I’ll remember that” and he laughed and was like “uh huh, you’ll remember”. Ass. I totally heart him.

It’s flippin cold down here too and it’s just about my bedtime. I’m sleepy. But I’m happy sleepy. 🙂

Why come there aren’t more cheese flavored rice balls in the cheez-it party mix? Why so many god damn pretzels?