Better than Hallmark

Tosh: Missing…Thinking…and Loving….
Tosh: What do you think theses things have in common
Tosh: U

That’s what I woke up to this morning on my messenger. *sigh* He can be so sweet.

His new schedule sucks. 9-5 isn’t bad when you’re used to it. But he’s not, so I don’t get much Tosh time. I stayed at my aunt’s house last nite to help her out with baking cakes for the baby shower this weekend, it’s for my cousin.

Tosh left yesterday morning at like 8.30 and I didn’t hear from him until like 10.30 last nite when he got out of work. He was tired and his feet hurt, but at least his hip and his neck didn’t. today he worked until 5 and called me shortly before he left to find out where I was. So he came over to Ren’s and we hung out for a little bit and then stopped at his house. I don’t think I’ve seen his parent’s in like a month. But in the car on the way there he got all serious on me and was like “these next couple of months are going to suck because I’m not going to get to see you often.” I told him it wasn’t that big of a deal and I would be ok. That I understood, the boys will be here and he’s working now. He told me he wasn’t saying it for me to be ok with it, he was saying it to show that he didn’t like it. Lol. His way of showing he cares. Then he just went rambling on about how it didn’t matter if I liked my alone time, that he was just saying that he was going to miss me. Lol. I guess sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut and accept what he says for what he’s saying.

Then on the way here we started talking about kids. How my parents are so completely happy for Napoleon and how we believe that they figured they were never going to be “real” grandparents. I mean I’m 32 and she’s 28 and our youngest sister is never going to have kids. So that leads Tosh into talking about his vasectomy and how even if he did get it reversed it’s been so long that it may not even work. I totally get this. He was like “ I don’t know how long we’ll be together, but I just want you to know that I may not be able to do that for you and I don’t know how you feel about it.” I told him that was totally ok with it. I’m not going to let someone’s ability to have children ruin my relationship. I love Tosh, I’m in love with him. And I guess what sucks the most is I could see myself having kids with him, but I accept things the way they are. Yeah I still feel like I’m kinda missing out, but I also feel like 32 or 33 is too old to start having kids. He told me he didn’t think it was too old. Really that doesn’t matter now does it? Lmfao. What he was really asking me though was if not having kids would be a deal breaker. Absolutely not.